Hi, Don't realy know how to start this so here goes, Iv known iv been gay since I was about 12, 4 years ago, this will be the first time Iv ever spoken/write about it, I realy want to come out to the people close to me, but im scared they won't accept me, or even worst make fun of me, the first person I want to come out to is my freind, I realy like him not just as a friedn either, I think he likes me in same way too so id like most too tell him and see what his reaction was, but again.. im scared that id lose him(as freind and Iv had crush on him for a while). all this aswell as everyday life has just got me soo depressed, i feel alone and like no one understands so I realy want to come out but have no idea what I would say or when, as this point im feeling as tho i will never come out and makes me so sad. and if my family and friends did reject me, then what?-:icon_sad:
You are confused, but don't worry, we all are confused in some way. First, about your friend and family. Find out their views on homosexuality. Casually bring the subject up. For example, say something like, "I saw this TV show and the one guy was gay. What do you think of that?" or, "what's your opinion on gay marriage?" If they respond positively to that, you could ask something like, "what would you do if someone you were really close to was gay?" Second, don't be so concerned about you friend's sexuality until you come out. If he's gay then great, you might have yourself a boyfriend. If he's straight and accepting, well, you have your closest friend right there. If he's straight and homophobic, don't tell him. I know it sucks, but until you gain enough courage to say, 'you know what? I don't care what people think. Screw their opinons; I'm coming out!', you can just be his friend. Also, you can make new friends and see if they're accepting. Third, about the family. Once you find out how they look at things, you can decide if you want to come out. If they're allright (or even supportive) you can come out. It might be hard, but they'll eventually come around. If they're slightly homophobic, you have a chance of things mellowing out after awhile. I wouldn't reccommend coming out, though. If they're extremely 'fags must burn in hell' homophobic, then you should probably wait to tell them you're gay. Why? So you don't get kicked out/beaten/killed/whatever else. Fourth. Good luck. oh and, welcome to EC.
my mums,dads,uncles and brothers views iv heard when ever a gay scene comes on tv, its normaly some thing like 'thats dusguising, this shouldnt be on tv, thats just wrong', which is why I worrie what will happen if they dont accept me
First off, welcome to EC Second, (*hug*). You don't have to come out to your family; I would actually consider not for the time being. Talk to your friends about it. Not nesscarily about your being gay, but mention something relating to homosexuality and see what they say.
Amazingly I was in the same boat as you like a month ago.. and kinda still am. First off, if you feel like your friend wont accept you now, maybe its time to hold off on things. I know my best friend was fine with it but shes a girl which doesn't really matter a lot accept she didn't have to think about me hitting on her. Guys a lot of the time shy away from that because they are afraid of what other people will think. It's just the way it is. It sucks... a lot, but it just works that way. First I would say find a good friend that will accept you and maybe tell them. It really helps and it's a great first step. For the family... I know my dad isn't accepting. My mom is. I plan to come out to her maybe next year (like.. senior year. next year is in 15 minutes :]) but my dad I probably wont tell until I can fully support myself. Its really hard to deal with but I honestly think it gets much better. And don't let depression get to you. It's such a hard thing to get rid of and know that people like me and everyone else around you on this site at least is here for you. Your life is so valuable. Please let me know if you want to talk anytime. Happy new year! Good luck. -Michael
Thanks for the advice everyone, and sorry about my grammer up there it was late xd. Since I posted on forums last night it just feel like their alot of weight off my chest, like its easier for me to breath now & feel happy for first time in a long while now I found some people I can relate too, thanks for replies, I think ill get started on what to say to my best freinds now:icon_bigg
Welcome to EC! Loads of us have been, or are in, your situation, so you're definitely not alone. Having just one friend that knows is a huge relief and really helps a lot, so does talking on EC. I've gotta come out to my ex-marine father really soon. So I know how stressful the family part can be. Good luck man. Stay in touch.
