1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How did you stoped being angry at yourself and accept that you are homosexual?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by aqwe, Aug 29, 2015.

  1. aqwe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2015
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Slovakia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I think I'm angry at myself that I'm attracted to people of same sex.
    I'd come out to few friends, but not most of them.

    How did you stoped being angry at yourself and accept that you are homosexual?
     
  2. pasinhose

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2015
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    for me it was the first time I had a full sexual session with another man. up to then I was not sure. after, I was and I knew. I felt like a weight was lifted and I accepted who I was.
     
  3. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,359
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Acceptance comes when you realise that it (your sexuality) cannot be changed. It's a fundamental part of who you are, just like the colour of your skin or eyes, and you can't pray it away or convert through therapy. It's with you for life. Ask yourself if you want to go through life feeling angry about something that cannot be changed? More importantly, ask yourself where the anger is coming from -- what is the reason for it? If you can understand what is causing the anger, you stand a better chance of moving towards a place of acceptance, even if you need some help with it. Therapy cannot change your sexuality, but it can be useful in helping you to accept it.

    When I realised that my sexuality was 'set in stone' and it wouldn't just change or go away I decided to face up to it. I didn't find it easy because I had denied it for so long, but it was a damn sight easier than living with the depression, anxiety and self hate that was beginning to overwhelm me. Do you confront it or allow it to ruin your emotional well-being? I decided that my emotional well-being was too important and the decision was made.
     
  4. 50ishandout

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston
    I don't think I was ever angry with myself about being Gay, I just couldn't reconcile the fact that I was. Once I did get good with myself and start my Coming Out I've never been better.
     
  5. aqwe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2015
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Slovakia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I agree.

    I don't thing so. I don't wanna feel angry at something I cannot change.

    I think some reasons are:
    • society - opinion of people about homosexuality... and simply mockery of gay people...
    • opinion of my closet friend about homosexual people
    • catholic church
    • not acceptance homosexual people in my neighborhood
    • that there is something wrong with me.
    But most of them I cannot change..


    I think I live in denial - (that one day I wake up and I change - that I stop having feelings for same sex persons..). I tried face up to it - but then I just back it up. One time I had courage to tell my best friends.. - I tell them directly and some indirectly - I think It change their opinion at me. We just stopped talking about it.
    I think my denial and anger is big issue in forming new relationships.
    I sometimes feel very deppressed about my sexuality and that I cannot change myself.
     
  6. Kiychii

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    somewhere unhappy
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I wouldn't say I was angry with myself? It was more along the lines of being scared and disgust? Eh... Kind of like, "Stop looking at her, dummy. She's going to realize you're gay - and gosh! She doesn't deserves better to be looked at by you! Ugh!"

    And, it was around like that for awhile, and I was pretty much scared to just be around girls in general. I guess? Ah...

    But, then this one girl came along. ( ^∇^) I didn't know her personally - just through the internet, basically. (We're friends now though, yay!) But, I saw how... just how amazing, and happy she was being a lesbian.

    She was just so happy and so kind - gosh, I don't know. It made me realize that being LGBT+ wasn't just about being a strange outcast - it was just about being yourself (I know this sounds cheesy) - but seeing her, I guess I was able to accept myself, because at the end, it isn't about hardships. It's just about being us. ❤
     
  7. Leopold

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2015
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Oakland, California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I haven't. I'm glad you have the courage to ask the question, and wish you well. Just remember that you are not alone in this struggle.
     
  8. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    934
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New England, US
    Honestly, coming on EC helped me the most. I have several queer friends but I still didn't feel right about my sexuality. But coming on here and realizing there are so many more people like me was very helpful. Not to mention just being able to be open on here and talk to other people about sexuality in a more in-depth way than I felt comfortable doing in person with others.
    Also, watching lgbt+ youtubers and coming out videos.
     
  9. TheSeeker

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2012
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Up on the Canadian Border in the Rain...
    I hated myself. I was so, so angry. Then I hooked up with my first dude and thought "whoa, this is awesome". It was either that, or my first real relationship.
     
  10. Asterac22

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2014
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Derby
    I personally was never really angry its one of them things i understood you can never change i was in denial for a while but i haven't got to the point it frustrated me really. there was alot of other things in my life i could change and wanted to so i concentrated on that really :slight_smile:
     
  11. pasinhose

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2015
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    Ontario
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    one day you'll find the anger is really repression and repression ...well, it causes problems mentally and physically. I went through it. some things helped me along and I will tell you this. 10 years ago I could not imagine being a gay man. now, I cannot imagine not being gay. it takes time. however when you do overcome, its a wonderful experience. embrace it.
     
  12. bookandquill

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2015
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    inside my head
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    A few people
    For me it wsan't anger, but denial. I was seriously saying stuff like "It's a phase," or thinking that I wasn't gay just because I didn't get a boner at every guy I saw. I came to turns with it after I stopped caring what othe people thought.
     
  13. vamonos

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2013
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tijuana
    Gender:
    Male
    I haven't stopped.