Destined to be Alone....(ok so the title's a tad melodramatics)

Hey EC Peeps,
I know I suck at coming here more often, but I'm usually lurking.
I like ranting here too.

Sooooo, I started seeing this guy a few weeks ago and everything was going ok(ish).
We met over the internet, that sounds sad, and I only really spoke to him because he sent me an email insulting me because I didn't reply to right away.
If anyone has read my threads about the texts I used to get you'll know that I a sadistic kind of way I enjoy things like this.

So I replied, I was in a very bad mood that day, and my message was half dissing him/half luring him into a interweb fight....aren't I cool?

So along the way we exchanged apologies and started talk-talking. We moved onto msn, I don't like msn so I'll admit that he intrigued me.
We introduced ourselves properly and did the whole this is me picture exchange thing, and later found out that we lived about 5 minutes walk away from one another.

We decided that we'd meet in person a little later and went for a walk. We met at a petrol(gas ) station half way from each of our houses and set off for a past midnight stroll.
We ended up at a park and sat there for an hour or so and talked, until I got a bit chilly and we continued to walk into town.
I was pooped after our 3(?) hour walk so I laid down on the steps of my school and he decided to use me as a pillow.
I was ok with that but he did try to advance a little but I soooooort of stopped him.

We went and got something to drink and sat down in the park near my school and he rested on me again. We were fake dissing/flirting all night and he decided to try and kiss me but I pulled away saying I'd much prefer if we waited.
We met up a few more times, almost daily, and he invted me to a small gathering - of his lesbian friends, hahaha it was the most lesbians I'd ever seen in one place; they were all coupled off too.

One of his friends sent me a text from across the table saying I should kiss him and that he really likes me.
I haven't actually been in a really public relationship, my ex was sort of a wuss about that. But later that night I scummed and we made out on his bed.
He tried to advance but I reinforced that I really wanted to get to know him better before we did anything else and he said he appreciated that. :S

We were meant to meet up the following weekend but he text me asking if I'd be mad if he went away for a few days.
After that it all went waaaaaaaaaaay downhill. He called me saying that he really likes me and he'll wait as long as I need.
But later said that we should take things slow.......?

Skip forward to new years and we sort of had an argument over a miss-communication via text - his grammar sucks.....worse than mine .
We sort of made up and argued a bit and I had thought we were done before we really started.
Because he was now also enforcing the take it slow thing I had invited to to a movie this weekend and a few hours ago he told me he couldn't make it. Apparently he's back where he went the first time.

And not too long ago he said, over msn, that -he wasn't ready for this, he's too impatient and that he'll probably just end up hurting me..............I was like "ooooookkaaaayy?".
He said that he though we could be great friends but nothing more......at the moment.

I must admit he's left me rather confused....Does he like me? I have NO IDEA!
He's not pulling right away but but is at the same time.

And to make things that much better I'm pretty sure I'm dying (ok not literally) but I woke up this afternoon with a head cold and now I'm feel like my body is going to implode. I'm sore all over and apparently my room is freezing cold but once I went into the other parts of the house I was literally freezing(teeth chattering and all).

It's 4am and I'm about to walk over to his place and leave him a note, nice and old fashioned. He won't get it until he comes home so I won't be waiting all day long for him to text or anything which is good.
Hahaha I'm lame I know but I wrote it on the back of a picture I drew of him, it's not finished but I didn't want it laying around because it was making me depressed.

My lips are dry and now my chest hurts, I should probably start walking before I fall over dead. Sorry for all the jargon, my brains on hiatus because of Liam (that's his name) and also because of whatever I have right now.

 

Ok, I remembered a few things I wanted to add.

I accidentally downloaded Shelter yesterday and I watched it tonight, I loved it!
Although my timing was bad because watching it a few hours after breaking up with my not-boyfriend made me sad.

I also wanted to mention that it was never really established that we were going out. He asked me a few times and I said we were almost dating. I had planned to ask him formally soon.

Also I'm not pretending to be an artist or even good at art, sometimes I just like to be creative.

I forget what else I wanted to say and now I'm writing the complete wrong words hahaha. I feel terrible.
Sorry, I just felt the need to rant.