I'm having some issues making a few decisions, and I was hoping I could get some insight from you guys. I'm not entirely sure if this is really a coming out issue? But this seemed like the most appropriate place so there you go. Also, bear with me, because every time I've tried to explain this it comes out as a jumbled mess. Probably because I can barely make sense of my worries in my head. So, I've been living full time as male (as much as I can) for the past two years. I am out to everybody I know, including all of my professors and fellow students. However, I've had no hormones and no surgeries and read as male maybe 1% of the time (and those people quickly take a second glance and "correct" themselves). In an effort to fix this problem (as well as that pesky dysphoria problem) I'm aiming to start HRT within the next three months (at this point I'm feeling like it needs to happen literally ASAP). Here's my problem: I'm slated to start a teacher education program in the spring, requiring me to be active in the area public schools, training and student teaching and building my portfolio for the next two years. During this time, I'll be in a definite state of flux. Hormones will be changing my body (but they won't make my overlarge chest disappear or probably even help out my binder in minimizing it). I'll be going from "clearly female" in the eyes of the people who see me to "clearly male" at best or "some weird combination of sexes??" at... not best. Without being too specific, I live in a suburb of a major city in the south. This suburb is pretty conservative. There are no LGBT groups outside of the college I attend. There have been issues in the past with the ACLU going after the school district over LGBT related issues, a trans man was raped by authority figures, and I've heard (through the grapevine) of a trans woman getting fired by the school district explicitly for being trans. So then, I'm facing the possibility of discrimination because of my transition. Will my professional opportunities be limited if I transition during student teaching? What will I have the children call me during the process and will that effect the likelihood of facing problems in a meaningful way? For example, if I present fully as male and go by Mr. Exoskeleton, will I have an issue with a student going home to their parents and saying "my new teacher Mr. Exoskeleton looks like a girl" and will the school support me if the parent marches down to decry my presence there? If I go by Ms. Exoskeleton, will the same thing happen as HRT runs its course? Will I have absolutely no problems with the kids or their parents but all the problems with the faculty and staff? I see a few option for proceeding, depending on the answers to those questions: I can drop out of school and find a job and try to wait until I can be stealth to resume school. I can proceed with the program, present fully as male, and deal with whatever happens. Finagle some other weird arrangement that magically solves my problems? I'm, overall, just really confused about the whole situation and I can't even keep my thoughts straight about it. Any advice?
