So I'm a transgender with no aim for surgery. I've been found out as a crossdresser in private and am very self-conscious about it. I am in the process of coming out, but I'm not sure if coming out as transgender is a good or a bad thing. Is it a copout, or should I just come out as gay since almost all of the people I'm coming out to are not involved in the LGBT culture? I feel like, since most people I don't know are going to take me for a blatant homosexual, that I should just come out as gay to everyone except for gay friends. Am I wrong?
that's a tricky situation. but in the end you should think about what is the best for you. How will you feel afterwards? Having to explain yourself can be really hard but sometimes holding it back and always having it on the back of your mind is harder. Maybe you should ask: would you befriend/ able to love (for parents or partners, if they don't know yet) a transgender/ gay transgender? most likely they will ask you: why? keep questioning until they give you some kind of answer, "I don't know, maybe" could be enough. then after hearing their answer you should decide depending on your mood and their words. if they say something like: god no! thats gross! why are you asking this? just say sou read sth on the internet about this matter recently. and them keep your distance. but if you arent sure about their reaction make sure that you dont depend on them in ans way (boss, teachers etc) dont panic but have a worst case scenario and a plan. and to your question about telling both things. I Would advice you to tell them both at the same time to close friends and people you trust enough because if they find out later it could be even more akward. but if you dont want to explain yourself, simply because you feel like you have done it hundreds of times: say you are gay. and if they ask and you feel like you are going to panic, but you don't depend on them: don't lie! you will feel bad afterwards. hoped this helped you somewhat. i am still pretty young, so if you find someone who has got more experience and is in the same situation, take their advice over mine good luck
