I was wondering how do you recover from a relationship that never happened. A little while back I posted a thread about this guy who I had/have a crush on and as it turns out he was hiding something but it wasn't his sexuality. I have been completly crushed not only from finding out the one guy who gave me hope isn't attracted to guys but also that he has a suvire predjudice against gays. Do you guys have any advice on how to get over him?
sorry that things didnt work it out... i guess u just have to get over it, u know? i've personally never been in a situation like u had, so i really don't know what to say...i'm sorry u guys are still friends though right??
Well, what has worked well for me in the past has been separation. Not seeing him or talking to him helps you to put him out of your mind and get back to your own life. Eventually, even when you do have to see him, it's not too bad. Basically the point is to focus on your own life and remember that it doesn't revolve around him. It's probably going to feel forced at first, but if you keep it up long enough, it will work.
Thanks for your support. He and I are still friends but I think thats only because I didn't tell him I'm gay. I just can't stop thinking about him and all the little things he does. He's always there to pick me up when I fall even if it's just something insignificant like feeling lonely on new years. He even saw the look in my eyes and gave me a fake kiss at the start of 2009. He calls me cute names and I'm the only person who he's nice to. Just the way he touches me and looks at me with those eyes. I thought I saw desire in his eyes but now it just feels like pitty, or something. I don't even know why he does those things that drive me crazy. He's always honest and kind and tells me whats up and I don't know how I could ever move on from something like that.
aww honey...i'm sorry. just stay positive, and u know, just think about good things in your life... eat a lot of ice creams and watch feel good movies...go to mall and shop (ok, that's what i tend to do when i'm down :dry just try to divert the thoughts about him, even tho it's hard... (*hug*) (*hug*) i really hope that u feel better!
JRNY I wish we could go shopping together that would be so fun why do all my best friends have to exist online and not in person
This sounds very familiar. I was in your shoes at one point, and one day I told him "I don't want to hang out with you anymore, because when I do, it just feels like torture because you can't reciprocate any of the feelings I have for you." The story gets complicated after that, but my logic was that I was trying to find a better place for my head, because when it was focused on him, it was sad, loving, and at times really painful because I thought I was seeing something in his eyes as well. Keeping your distance will help you get over him. Occupy your mind with something else.
I feel almost like I don't want to get over him, like this love no matter how unrewarding is all I have in the real world Can you possibly tell me the whole story? It would really help me out.
ive had a best friend (a straight guy) for years now who i have always had a crush on, hes always been the most camp straight guy ever and always used to joke on, he even has slept in the same bed with me a few times (nothing ever happened sadly), however just as ive been coming to terms with who i am recently and telling a couple of friends, he has begun to say, quite often that hes homophobic, cant be much help but i know what your going through mate, ste xxx
Oh boy. After I told him that, he confessed a sexual interest, but nothing emotional. Albeit confused, we headed in that direction for quite a while. The "relationship" certainly felt like it was making us "more than friends," however, he never stated that he had any emotional stake in me. On the flip side, I was then very attached to him. So, when he suddenly hooked up with a girl and "fell for her" overnight, I was heartbroken and then proceeded to cause both of us a lot of other problems. Is he gay? I don't think it matters unless he tells me. Do I think he's gay? At this point I can only wish, but also at this point, I can't really care to wonder because he has obviously chosen to explore something else and he has made it clear enough that he doesn't want keep doing what we were doing. I still see the same things in his eyes, and despite some of the hurtful things he has done, I find that hating him causes me more problems than anything else. Letting myself love him has really opened my heart to a lot of things and despite all the heartache, I feel I'm a stronger person because of it.
Oh boy. After I told him that, he confessed a sexual interest, but nothing emotional. Albeit confused, we headed in that direction for quite a while. The "relationship" certainly felt like it was making us "more than friends," however, he never stated that he had any emotional stake in me. On the flip side, I was then very attached to him. So, when he suddenly hooked up with a girl and "fell for her" overnight, I was heartbroken and then proceeded to cause both of us a lot of other problems. Is he gay? I don't think it matters unless he tells me. Do I think he's gay? At this point I can only wish, but also at this point, I can't really care to wonder because he has obviously chosen to explore something else and he has made it clear enough that he doesn't want keep doing what we were doing. I still see the same things in his eyes, and despite some of the hurtful things he has done, I find that hating him causes me more problems than anything else. Letting myself love him has really opened my heart to a lot of things and despite all the heartache, I feel I'm a stronger person because of it.[/QUOTE] thank you for sharing your wisdom I only hope I can get over this guy because I'm going nowhere fast
