So, my junior year is starting soon, and I was homeschooled just for last year, so I haven't seen a lot of the kids in quite a while. I'm going back to the school I was in for freshman year, where a lot of kids simply know me as a lesbian. I was questioning at the time. (I do have closer friends I've kept in touch with, however, so they know otherwise.) Now, however, I identify as transmasculine(? I'm mostly a guy, that's about it) and pansexual. I tend to not present as traditionally male a lot (by choice), but I'm confident enough in my gender identity that accidental misgendering doesn't bother me as much as it used to. But I do go by a different name now, as well as he/him pronouns. The school is generally open-minded and accepting, and as I said, I'm very confident, so I don't think I'll have much of a problem with the kids. The problem is my parents. I plan to ask the teachers to call me by the right name and pronouns, and I think most of them will be fine with it. But I don't want it to get back to my parents, because while they're aware of (and unhappy with) the fact that I like to ignore the gender binary, they aren't aware that I go by a different name. I want to tell the kids and teachers to call me by my birth name in front of my parents, but I'm kind of afraid. I'm worried that someone will slip up, or that that's too much to ask in the first place. It's like, "Hey, I know I wear a full face of makeup 80% of the time, but I'm a boy, okay? Oh, but not around my parents, you have to call me a girl then." So I don't really know what to do. Should I even bother telling the teachers, or just suck it up for the year? I'd love to have a safe place at school, but I don't want to risk my parents getting mad and questioning me about it. I don't plan to fully come out until I'm 18. (Some of this is taken from another thread I posted in a different section, which didn't get any replies. I think it was phrased a bit weirdly then, and possibly in the wrong topic. This is a revision of sorts, asking the question in a clearer way.)
Well it's going to be a difficult ask. Not necessarily because anyone will be against your wishes, but rather because they'll be used to how you presented yourself in the past years. Having the entire school who used to know you as a girl consider and refer to you as a male may be a difficult adjustment that, at a school level, may be too tasking for the type of lazy kids I remember going to school with. I'm sure the teachers would oblige but it may conflict with students and create awkward attention for you. If I were to recommend anything, it would probably be to wait it out. Trying to change everyone's outlook on you during the last year of Middle School (I hope I'm getting this right, I'm not too great on the US schooling system) is going to be much harder than waiting until you start High School and being able to express yourself to a blank canvas audience who wont know you and will probably be able to adapt much faster. Whatever you choose to do, I wish that it all goes well.
I'm not actually worried about the students too much. It's a small school with a lot of queer kids, and I think they'll adjust well to it. Not sure about the teachers, especially the older ones, but I guess we'll see Oh, I'm actually already in high school! Junior year is the third year of high school in the US, actually. I appreciate your input, and I'll keep it in mind, but I know I definitely want to come out to the students I know. My main concern is the teachers, and the name thing.
