Lately I've been feeling like I'm only living for the future as if nothing I do right now is worth while. I feel abandond by my best friends who are running off with their boyfriends while I am held back by my sexuality. I have begun the coming out process but I've only told 2 people. People assume in gay upon meeting me because I have all the characteristics of being gay but I have refused to admit it. I really feel lonley like I want a boyfriend but don't really know anyone who is gay. I have people who I suspect are gay but I fear if I approach them to date I risk being found out as gay. I'm extremely confused and don't know where to turn because the only people who I feel comfortable talking to are off with their boyfriends. I guess what I'm asking is if you think it would be safe to approach somone who I think or know is gay while I'm in the closet or how to do it. And if there is a way to get a boyfriend safely without being outed. I have one guy who I'm almost positive is gay but I'm not friends with him and he's not in any of my classes. His best friend used to tutor me but I have no idea how to approach him. The only way I know him is I walk by him in between my classes and we exchange stares. I'm sorry if this seems confusing and jumbled I just don't know where else to turn.
If you seek out someone you're positive is gay to talk to you can be almost certain you won't be outed. Chances are they know exactly where you're at right now and wouldn't do that to you. I'd go for it! I did the same thing with a girl at my school who's sort of the poster gay girl. She really helped me a lot and I made a good friend. Plus, you might be introduced to possible boyfriends for yourself, and if not that at least people who can be there for you and understand exactly what you're going through.
If you seem like a stereotypical gay guy, and you pop up on peoples' "gaydar", then to tell you the truth dude, it sounds like everyone knows but you. They respect you and love you for who you are whether you know it or not, so just focus on you and coming to accept yourself more. the more you accept yourself, the easier it is and the more stuff just kind of falls into place for you.
I vote you go for it. Next time you pass each other in the halls and exchange stare, go talk to him. It sounds like you're stuck in a rut right now and the only way to really get out of it is to do something. I know just how you feel when you say you're worried about being outed. But Lizz Keller is right. No gay person is going to do that to you. Neither will a lot of straight people. One thing I've learned in the last 3 months is that your situation isn't gonna really change unless you get proactive.
thanks for all the advice i think im going to try to talk to him and put some excitement into my dull life he seems like a nice enough guy that would kindly reject me if he were going to and also nice enough to not out me thanks again! ;D
any ideas on a good conversation starter? i cant really think of any just really REALLY horrible ones it seems whenever i try to talk to a guy an orb of confusion turns on and i say really lame things
