Gay bar - alone

I would kind of like to know if this is a safe thing to do, too. I'm in a similar position to you in that I'm not out. I don't drink though and I don't think I would use dating apps. Give me a diet coke and I'm fine though.

I have heard some of my straight co-workers say that they used to just people-watch others in bars, so I think this is possibly normal.

I think I could chat with a guy in a bar, but I'm definitely not looking for a purely physical relationship. Who knows though, maybe we can find someone else who is looking for a real relationship?

(*hug*)

 

I've done this a whole bunch of times, I've even gotten a little more than drunk but that's because we only have one blatantly gay bar in our city that I've ever seen complete with rainbow flags and it's pretty safe. I don't know where you live or how safe it could be so be super careful, especially if you're a small person because heterosexual guys still go to those clubs and they tend to get super grabby, which is pretty much how they are in straight clubs and bars too. I'd suggest trying to take at least one friend just as a wing man or to be even more safe.

 

If you think its a safe environment then I think you should definitely give it a try if you feel comfortable enough to do so. It'd give you a chance to get to know some people and even make friends. good luck!

 

I'd at least check the reviews out, thoroughly, online first. I don't know if I'm just being a bit paranoid though. The idea of going to a bar alone makes ME nervous but I know people do it all the time.

 

I've done it. Just walk in like the boss. Order a drink and become part of the atmosphere.

 

Agreed. I went with my gay/bi men's group to the local gay bar here. It is much more settling to go with people you know will watch your back. I would never recommend someone go to a gay bar alone for their first time.

 

Good luck my friend. Consider going on an off night, just try to hang in the atmosphere. Never hurts to have a ride home planned, either. If you succeed, update us!

 

I did this when I was first coming out in college. I would not recommend. I went to a gay bar/club by myself for the first time and I got my ass grabbed like 5 times just walking through. Some older guy (late 30s or early 40s) came up to me and offered me a beer and I took it. He later offered me a second bottle of beer, already opened, and asked me if I want to go somewhere with him. I gave him back his beer and left.

That may just be my experience, and I know that bars vary in the types of crowds they attract, but I would not suggest going to a bar by yourself if you want to mingle with other gay people. I recommend looking for a meetup group for gay singles in your area (there is a web site for this). Meetup groups usually involve interactive activities like bowling, movie night, concerts, restaurants, rock climbing, paintball, and hiking. It's a more relaxed atmosphere and it's all organized within a private group. You could even suggest a bar meetup event if you wanted. That way you wouldn't have to go by yourself.

 

I've never had an issue. Actually the first time I went to a gay bar I went alone. I met a ton of people, many of whom I'm still friends with over twenty years later. I have to say I would be a little nervous going to a straight bar alone--people generally assume I'm straight so it's not that, it's just that in straight bars in my experience there's just a lot more weird random aggression--but a gay bar doesn't bother me in the slightest.

 

did this a few times when i was coming out - little awkward but otherwise fine. by this point in my life i was very comfortable going to "straight" bars alone to have a drink before meeting someone, watch a game, etc. so it wasn't a huge leap.

I was in big urban areas where there were big gay populations, and nobody really noticed or cared about one more guy. i went to bars, not clubs. once i got over the initial nerves, just about everyone was pleasant. depends where you are, i think.