I've already came out to my friends and my mom, but it seems like I have to re-come out. I guess they pushed it to the back of their minds since I don't present as a guy often. And like, I was telling my mom that I wanted to wear a suit to homecoming and she was so confused as to why I would do that, but I was too scared to tell her why. Coming out the first time was scary enough, I don't need to do that to myself again. Then, I was complaining to my friends about it and they just like shut down. They didn't say anything, just went on to the next thing and it really hurt. Do I need to come out again and remind them that I am, in fact, trans?
That is completely up to you ThaPrince. No one came make those types of decisions for you. Remember that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, not to your family or your friends, not even if they demand an explanation. You always have a choice about whether to speak or stay silent. It's up to you and what you want to do. You determine who you want to come out to, if anyone. You determine when you want to come out to someone, if at all. You determine what you want to tell them, if anything. Do what feels good to you, when it feels right to you. I hope things get easier for you soon. All my best to you.
How did they react when you first came out? To what extent did they accept it? Are they calling you by your chosen male name and using proper gender terms? I'm trying to figure out if they are in denial, or if they don't fully understand where you are in your transition. I realize it was extremely difficult to come out the first time, and you don't want to go through the anxiety, fear and pain again, yet I'm sure their lack of acknowledgement must be hurting you also.
The one time I asked my friends to used my proper terms they shut me down. I understood that it was going to be hard, after knowing me as a girl for so long, but I would've liked for them to try. I don't ask people to use my chosen name and terms though, mostly because I'm still not entirely ready for that yet, I'm still getting used to it all. When I came out to them they were accepting and were super loving and now they (except for one person) don't even acknowledge it. My mom is a whole different story though, she was skeptical from the beginning, she was sort of supportive though, she told me she still loves me and that'd she be there for me no matter what. But now it seems like she doesn't even want to talk about it.
I think sometimes when people want to be supportive, they're not exactly sure how to be. You mentioned that you are still getting used to this also, so another part of the problem might be that they are not seeing you transition in the way or at the rate that they were expecting, so are not sure how to react, what to say, or what to do. That is not in any way meant to pressure you into a phase of your transition that you are not ready for, I'm just trying to give you and idea of how they might be feeling and what they might be thinking. I would say if they have been accepting and loving previously, talk to them about how you are feeling. They may not realize the (hopefully) unintended impacts that their behavior is having on you. I would also be very clear as to what you need and want from them. Lay it out, in very simple terms. When we don't talk about it, when you don't use proper terms, it makes me feel this way and that way. I want to be able to talk to you about this, I'm ready to wear a suit, I need this and this and that from you. I realize that can be frustrating, but sometimes, they just don't know, and they should. If you don't feel comfortable discussing how you feel in person, you could always try a letter/email etc. This can help you to organize your feelings also. Best of luck, and I really hope you get they results that you need
