Any advice for coming out to the family as a transguy (FTM)? I live on my own now and I think I am ready. maybe it's time. I was thinking a letter since I communicate best through writing. I know my mom is closed minded but at least I know and she will know where I stand and who I am. Can anyone tell me their experiences?
this is my letter I typed up...I did add little humor lines in because that's just who I am. but let me know what you think! Mom, Hey sooo you know I suck at talking and communicating and I do it best through writing. I have something I really want to tell you, and I am trusting you enough to let you in. This is very hard for me to do and I really need your support but I also understand if you’re upset. The thing is, I am transgender and I like male pronouns. Basically I identify more as a boy than a girl. So hi, I’m Brendan. Okay take deep breaths and calm down. Don’t freak out. I am still me. I love you this has nothing to do with you nor the media. This was something I had to discover about myself (Yes, I have been seeing a therapist who agrees I am transgender.) So this isn’t a whim or spur of the moment choice. I have just been this way my whole life. Still breathing? Still with me? Good! Cause I love you and don’t want you to have a heart attack. Let’s go back to the start. I hated dresses. I don’t remember how many countless fights we had about dresses. And mud. I LOVED to get dirty. As a kid, I loved playing war with the boys and fishing. I never really identified inside with girl things. Cheerleading, dances, boyfriends, etc. I just was scared of the feelings I was having and didn’t want you or anyone to hate me nor did I want to disappoint you. So I did what was uncomfortable to me to try and fit in. It caused my depression to overflow on top of the confusion. You ever feel like you are carried out in a tide with no chance of rescue? That’s how I felt. Stick with me here. I thought I was just lesbian. I thought I was just a butch lesbian with really high masculine tendencies. But, as I started going back to therapy, I discovered what I was missing in my life. I discovered who I was supposed to be and that I am ok with me. I have finally learned to love myself. The money that I spent was stupid but it was to cover up what I was really buying and why I fought harder than ever with you about money. I wasn’t ready for you to know yet. I have chest binders and male clothing and shoes for example. I chopped my hair off to project a masculine image. For once, I am FINALLY figuring out who I am and how much I love myself. I am proud of who I am and what I am becoming. I am not perfect. I am not always happy with myself. But it is much better than it used to be. I swear I am almost done. Let me continue by saying you are a great mother and I love you with all my heart. I am so happy you are in my life. I really hope you want to take this journey with me. It is long and difficult but I think we can do it together. I love you and am open to any questions you might have and I also have a ton of really great resources you can look at if you want. I know this is a lot and this can take time. I understand you might be mad right now and that’s okay. You are more than entitled to your feelings and might need time. I respect that. Ok, now I think you should probably take one of your anxiety pills and take a nap. I know that was a lot to take in. I’ll always be here if you want to talk about it. I love you mom. You’re the best! Brendan
