okay. I want to come out to my mum but i have a few problems: a) I'm not sure I'm ready for my step-dad to know and I don't want to make her keep a secret from him b) I basically NEVER get time alone with her as I have a 4 year old sister, so it's difficult to even have a normal conversation let alone a hard one...and she repeats everything. c) I'm in a long term relationship with a man currently so there's no need to say anything. d) I kind of feel like she'd make it into a big deal...she's never been shy from asking "...or girl?" about if I fancy anyone....in front of step-family among other things. I know these are tiny things, nothing like most people are worried about but I could use a little outside input. What do you think? Would it be unfair to tell her, unwise to until I'm ready to be OUT out due to littl'un and my mum's lack in inhibitions?
Coming out to my mom was the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was also extremely liberating. It felt like a weight was literally lifted off my shoulders, even as cliche as that sounds. My mom's known about me being bi for close to two years now; however, I've yet to tell my dad. For now, it's just been between my mom and I and my closest friends. For me, I felt like it was time to tell her because it was just occupying the majority of my thoughts. I guess my advice would be to just listen to your instincts. Deep down, I think our moms can sense things like this. I definitely don't regret telling her because I feel like I can talk to her about anything now. I hope this helps you and, even though I'm new here, feel free to message me if you'd like to chat. I'm still learning a lot about myself and I struggle with things on a daily basis, but I feel like we're all in this together.
Yes if you are safe and mentally ready for anything that might be thrown back at you prepare for the worst hope for the best will you have a place to live if she throws you out? If she takes it wrong can you handle it mentally! Do you have a back up plan? Are you happy with yourself and ready?
I personally think you should go for it. From my own experience, coming out to my mum was one of the hardest. I knew she would accept but she has absolutely know knowledge in LGBT's AT ALL it was the longest and most painful conversation trying to explain to her what the hell everything meant. She still doesn't understand gender properly but yeah. Even though that was my experience, looking back on it, it shouldn't have been such a hard thing for me to do. She's always said "If you or your sister turn out to be gay*, it's ok." and I knew that it would be all good if I told her but yeah, I found it hard. I still think you should go for it though, hiding in the closet while at home is definitely hard and it's very tough. As for your sister, try and pry your mum away from her. It shouldn't be too hard, and if possible try and leave your sister with your step-dad and take your mum out somewhere. I don't see a rush in coming out though, I waited about 4 months after I first came out to my closest friends before I told my mum. * She doesn't know anything about the LGBT community, even though I tried to drill it into her. Lol
