So I'm a 17 year old lesbian. I've pretty much known it since I was 12 or 13 and I'm tired of keeping it a secret. My problem is that I'm from a small town in Hungary and most people here are extremely homophobic (including my parents). Despite that I'm very close to them and I know no matter how much they're against it they wouldn't throw me out or beat me up, but they also wouldn't look at me the same way again. I don't have many friends, so if I lost my parents' support I would have very few people left (and I'm not out to them either). My mom recently said "If someone is gay then they should keep it a secret and not be proud of it. It's abnormal". I don't know if that was her way of telling me not to come out? It's weird because I don't think she knows - I'm biromantic/panromantic so I obsessed over a lot of male celebrities when I was younger even if I wasn't sexually attracted to them. (Of course I obsessed over women too but they don't know that). BTW my parents are not religious, but they judge everyone who is a bit different than them. I really want to come out, but I'm scared. I know there are people in much worse situations than mine, but please help! (And sorry for my English. I know it's not perfect.)
Hi Neiviv, If you believe that they will react badly maybe it might be a good idea to wait until you are not dependant on your parents and you have a place of your own, just in case they act worse then you think. Or maybe if you have a close friend you could come out to or someone in your life that you think would be ok it. That way you have some support. On the other hand, maybe if you do come out it might challenge your parents negative opinions and make them realise that someone who is gay is just like everyone else and that your sexuality is just one part of what makes you, you. Do they know anyone who is gay? Where do you think there opinions have come from? Ant
Hi, Thanks for the quick answer. I don't think they know any gay people. They are usually judgmental about everything that's a bit different from our "perfect little family". They sometimes make racist comments or make fun of people who look a bit different, so I don't think it's only towards gay people. I think if I told them they would most likely ignore it or think it's just a phase and wouldn't bring it up again.
Maybe you coming out to them might make them re-think their attitude towards other people. It sounds like that they use stereotypes to judge people, such as if a guy wear certain clothes, then they consider him gay. It might just shock your parents to realise that you don't have to be/act/look a certain way to be gay and what they consider as "normal people" can just as easily be gay. For some people it just needs to be broken down so that at the end of the day, we are all still people tying to live a life the best we can.
Bring up LGBT related news around them and observe their reactions. I would wait until you are financially stable and self sufficient just to be safe :3
