Know that there's lots of stories that are similar to mine on here but I still feel like I haven't seen something similar enough to relate to with my issue so I'm posting this thread to get some general advice. So anyway, last weekend I started my freshman year of college and feel a bit of trepidation about being in the closet. Over the past year and a half, I've come out to a few people but never felt comfortable being out because I wasn't in the nicest area to be gay. During my time in high school I promised myself that I would come out during college. But now that I'm in college I still feel nervous about coming out. I know for a fact that nearly everyone (if not everyone on campus) would be supportive about it so homophobia wouldn't be an issue. An idea that came to my mind was showing up at an LGBT support group on campus to build up a support network but I'm still a bit scared to do this. I just feel like I might be making a mistake by coming out too early. I know that shouldn't be trying to stress over this but I feel so conflicted right now. So is it normal for me to be feeling this way? Is this a sign that I'm still in denial or something? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Everyone is just like you. It's very very normal. I came out to one but still not feel comfortable with that. In my opinion it's just we still not ready yet. Don't force yourself to come out, just wait for the right opportunity. (^.^!)
Nah, you're fine. Just scared, like any other person. Look, you don't really have to do it now if you don't want to but know this... coming out it's hard and shit blah blah but you also have to look at the good things. When you come out you'll feel really good, first. Second, you'll be able to be yourself and also stop being anxious which is annoying as fuck if you ask me. Plus, now you're in college. Nobody gives a shit. When you tell someone you're gay you mostly get either "really?" or "oh okay". The less you wait the smaller the shock will be for others.(Close people that is)
You're definitely not in denial. It's just a culture shock in the new environment, one where you don't have to stay closeted to feel safe. Taking the first steps out can be really scary, but it's one of those things that gets easier each time. College LGBT centers have a mix of people, from people who have been out and proud since 10th grade to people who are just coming out to people who aren't even sure where they fall on the spectrum. And I' sure a lot of them are just as nervous as you are. One thing you could do if you're concerned about starting out with a big crowd is to talk one on one to someone like the staff member in charge of the group or a student leader. You could meet face to face or talk to them via email or Facebook. That way you can get all your questions out without worrying about group dynamics. I can tell you that, having been an officer in a lot of student groups in undergrad and grad school, I would be delighted to have a prospective member reach out to me and would bend over backwards to make sure they were comfortable and enthusiastic about joining the organization. Hope this helps. You can always PM me if you want to talk more.
