okay, so i was invited to these two associations for a summer camp or something. Basically, they've chosen candidates who have good academic and extracurricular-activity records, and they're offering for a summer camp-type thingy, where the students get to go to other cities or countries and do the workshops, meet new friends, experience new culture...etc now i really wanna go this, because it sounds really exciting and fun, and plus it would be a great experience and good record for a transcript. one camp offers camp in US-u get to goto New York,Chicago, DC...etc, and the other one offers camp in Europe-UK, Italy or France. Except, there's one problem. They're kinda expensive. The chepeast one is thousand dollars, excluding meal money, transportation (like airplane tickets)...etc MOst of them are around three thousand to five thousand dollars, the most expensive ones are around hundred thousand dollars... So i asked my parents if i could go, they said no. why? because they've spent too much fucking money on my sister. she's going to a dental school next year, and they've paid every trip expenses, interview expenses...etc So that alone cost like few thousand dollars. On top of that, they supported her financially for the college fully for 4 years. So they're saying that since they've spent too much money on her, they can't spend money on me. Yea, i have a problem with that. My parents expect me to get full scholarship for the college so that they don't have to spend any money. I want to live in a dorm, but i can't cuz "it's expensive"-as my parents say. i'm not a US citizen yet, i'm on my immigration process, so im gonna have to wait till 2012 to get it-so until then, altho i can get scholarships, i cannot get any loans whatsoever-sucks! So i get to live with my parents for TWO more years-during my freshman and sophomore year in college. Well, that sounds "fun":dry: i really dont wanna live with my parents during college-but that seems inevitable-since i cant get any loans and dorms are pretty expensive. but anyway, so yea, i think its kinda unfair that they've provided all those fucking moneys on my sister, and then they refuse to do something for me. I've even given up this school trip to spain-which is a tradition for juniors/seniors in our school. almost all kids in my class are going-except me. Why? cuz my parents refuse to pay that too-they say its too expensive. so yea, my friends are gonna have fucking fun in spain, while i get to stay in home. (btw, the trip cost is four thousand dollars) I mean, i know these things are not cheap-they are expensive i get it. but while they spend all these money on my sister, they expect me to give up everything, and u know, pay the college by myself-not that it's impossible, but still, i think its kinda unfair. i get that economy is bad and all, but im missing out so much fun stuff!!! my parents and i discussed this issue again, and when i said it was unfair, they called me selfish! am i really being that selfish?
I don't think you're being selfish, however I do think you need to listen to what they really mean by "we've spent too much money on your sister." On the one hand it's completely ridiculous of them to expect you to just give up all of these opportunities because they spent so much money on your sister. But you also need to see that they screwed up financially, and it's nothing against you. They definitely should've rationed the money more instead of spending it all on your sister, but there's not a lot you can do now. Perhaps if you save up for a few of these things and ask them to split the cost with you? Say you'll pay them back in installments or something. Don't give up completely, but approach them calmly and rationally.
First of all no you are not being selfish. I agree with you that they should not have shelled out a bunch of money for your sister's dental school and then refused to even help you pay for anything.That shows blatant favoritism towards your sister in my opinion.Yes the trips are expensive,however if they could afford to foot the bill for your sister's college,some of that should have been for you to use as well. I would be so fucking angry at my parents if they did that to me even if my brother is only in 2nd grade.They are the ones that are not being fair and they are showing obvious favoritism towards their daughter-their straight child and that is downright disgusting and cruel.If she got her college/dental school paid for,the least you should have recieved is help even if they did not pay for the whole trip.
I don't think you're being selfish at all. I think you're right in feeling the way you do! If this had happened to me i'd feel exactly the same way. Sorry I can't help by suggesting anything.
Parent's often make bonehead moves in disproportionately rationing funds for their children and sadly the kids have to pick up the slack and watch as their siblings get it all. But what's done is done and right now I would suggest that you do a shit load of research and find out how other kids pay for it all. Yeah it's unfair that you have to, but this is YOUR future and if inner city kids with nothing can work their way up to being doctors and lawyers on their own, then you can do it too. Nothing is impossible, just do the research. Yup, you got shafted. Now whatcha gonna do about it? I fucked it all up and now I'm stuck getting paid 45% of what the people around me are and I'm doing the same work. I just don't have a degree, that's the only difference, AND I'm outperforming most of them. This is your life bub' You can bitch about it or hit the ground running. I bitched. I still live with my parents. Get the picture?
I know how you feel, as I've been in a similar situation. Except I am the oldest and the money went to the youngest. All I can say is that is the way the Mercedes Benz. I ended up paying for college myself and honestly it gives me a lot of pride to know I was able to do it. I had friends that complained about being broke all of the time and their parents paid for their school. Not only did I get job, but I went the extra mile and trained myself so I could get a good well paying job. There were quite a few students at the university that drove a BMW, but I was the only one that paid for it myself. Looking back I would have handled a few things differently, but if I had to do it again I would pay my own way. So if you want to go, get a job and pay for it yourself. It will be hard work, but it is so worth it. --Edit to add. I want to say the reason my parents handled it this way is because they only had enough money for one of us and they knew that I would be able to take care of myself. I don't harbor any bad feeling about it and think they made the right decision.
I personally dont think you are being selfish because they spent shit loads on your sister and if you ask me that is not fair.
first of all thanks for the support/advices. i'm still annoyed but u know what? life isn't fair and im just gonna suck it up -_- yup they screwed up big time. they really did spend too much money on my sister, and now they're expecting me to give up everything and pay almost everything by myself. yes i get this a lot. my parents definitely puts more money on her. my sister told them that now that its a dental school, she would get loans to pay her dental schools. but my parents are still insisting on giving her some money support!! i mean wtf? my sister is capable of getting loans, so why not let her? they're like still stressed b/c they think they have to give her more finanacial support!! Damn the first borns lol (jk) thanks. i don't think im being selfish either, but obviously my sister and my parents think so. WTF thanks for ur advice,,,yea i guess i cant really do anything about it. either i bitch and get nothing done, or just move on. thanks for ur advice. however i cannot help feeling bad about this. i still think its unfair. i mean, im gonna stop bitching but still. thank you!! thats exactly how i feel!
yes i concur your not being self-fish, but it sounds as if your parents are already having a hard time paying off your sisters college funds. When they said for you to get a scholarship they might have meant that it would benefit you for getting into a college with out being in more of a finacial problem.
Hi JRNY, You are not being selfish. Your parents need to balance the scales. You said you were awaiting the immigration process (I'm guessing the 5-year residency rule) but that shouldn't keep you from getting a student loan. You can request the residency requirement be waived, based on your educational needs, especially if you're a good student. And here is one your parents might not like but is fair, given what they are spending on your sister. They get a loan on your behalf and they contribute at least 50% to repaying it. You pay the other 50% when you are employed. Also, talk to your guidance counselor. There are all kinds of private organizations and clubs that will issue grants to cover whatever expenses you might have at college. For promising students, they might foot the entire bill. Good luck.
