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Came out before I was sure... as the wrong sexuality????

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by cheerlesbo, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. cheerlesbo

    cheerlesbo Guest

    So up until two nights ago, I was convinced I was a lesbian. I hadn't had any attraction to guys almost at all, and the little attraction I had was in 5th and 6th grade, so I assumed that I was too young to understand attraction back then, and it was just a fluke. (I'm a sophomore now)

    But at school they assigned us partners in one of my classes, and it's going to stay like that the whole year. I was partnered with a guy who I had talked to a little bit last year as friends, but we stopped talking. I like meeting new people, and I wasn't just gonna awkwardly ignore him the whole year, so we started talking again.

    Since then I've learned a lot about him, and little things make me start to fall for him. He dresses the way that always attracts me to people, even as friends. He dresses like a skater, and wears this same bracelet every day. I can just relate to him on a level that I can't with most of my cheer friends, because I've been to hell (drug addiction, rape) while my friends are excited about their first kiss or first drink. I also learned his family breeds sugar gliders, and the way he talks about them is so sweet, and it's just so unique, that's when I knew I was falling for him.

    I first fell for his personality, who he was and his mind and after that I started to find him physically attractive. Once I got to know who he was as a person, then I started noticing cute things about the way he looked. That's how it's always been for me, even with girls. The other night it all clicked, and I realized I was pansexual. I was one hundered percent sure this time.

    The only problem is, I've already come out to some people as a lesbian. I wasn't sure what my sexuality was, but I knew I liked girls and I didn't want it to be a secret. When I realized I was pan, it just felt so right. I've never felt so comfortable with any label. I was just dumb, and didn't know what I wanted, but now I know that gender or looks mean nothing to me, I fall for who they are inside, but I've already told people I'm a lesbian. What now?

    TL;DR I came out as a lesbian before I was sure, but now I know I'm pansexual and have never been more sure about anything in my life.
     
  2. XxSunXDragonxX

    Regular Member

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    I'm in the same situation. Try not to sweat it. :slight_smile:
     
  3. YinYang

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    I feel you. I came out, first as bisexual to a couple of people, then pansexual, then panromantic asexual. But, I'm not quite sure what you are asking. Do you want advice on what to do or do you just want to vent, or what? (Not trying to sound rude, but I honestly can't tell)
     
  4. cheerlesbo

    cheerlesbo Guest

    Both I think. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's done this, I guess I just have to explain that I was wrong. I really shouldn't have done this before I knew for sure.
     
  5. YinYang

    Regular Member

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    Trust me, I get it. I'd say, just tell your parents you were unsure and rushed into coming out, but now you are positive of your sexuality. And don't forget, there's a possibility they could be 100% fine with it. I know my friend is.
     
  6. Oddsocks

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    It's okay to amend what you're out as! :slight_smile: I've occasionally had to update people on fluctuations on my sexuality (I went from bi/pan to exclusively into girls for a length of time, then back again) - if you're already out, it's often not quite as tricky as it feels like it'll be.

    After all, you're still into girls! That's not changed. It just turns out that you're not exclusively into girls like you initially thought.

    People often aren't as weird about it as you worry they'll be. I second YinYang - just explain the situation, and in all likelihood they'll get it. :slight_smile: