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I think its time.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by EM68, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. EM68

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    I have posted this a few times that once New Years passed I would be coming out to my parents, brother and sister. I plan to come out to my parents first and I plan to do so in the next couple of weeks. Just after Christmas I had a minor meltdown and almost went back into the closet. But I realize that this is not what I want to do. The main reason: I AM HAPPY!

    I met someone who I really like and he seems to like me also. That is part of the reason why I want to come out. The main reason is that I so not want to hide this from my family anymore. Our family has had enough secrets to last a lifetime. I plan to give my parents a letter the talk to my sister and brother. Below is my letter to my parents. I posted one similar about a month ago but I changed a few things.

    Dear Mom & Dad,

    I am writing you this letter because I have something very important to tell you and I want to get this out right. Just so you do not get worried everything is alright. I am more than alright. For the first time in a long time I am truly happy. I love both of you so much that I can not truly express how I feel. What I want to tell you is that I am gay.

    For years I have been struggling with my sexuality and a while ago came to terms with who I truly am. I feel that I can not hold onto this secret anymore and finally feel comfortable enough to share this part of my life with you. This letter has been written for a while, but with everything going on over the year I wanted to wait until things settled down.

    I want you two to know that I am very much at ease and secure with who I am. For a long time I agonized why I was not in a relationship with a woman and was wondering what was wrong with me. After some time of soul searching I realize what I am really looking for. Even though at times I was happy, I was not truly happy because I did not have someone in my life that I could love. I do not want you to blame yourself at all for this. You both have loved me more than any parents could love their son. This is just who I am. I do not know why it took me this long to come to the realization that I am gay and I am not going to look back and ask why. It is just the way that it happened. My situation is not unique. There are a number of people who later in life who discover their true self and realize that it is never too late to be happy. .

    Like I said before, I love you two so much. You both have always been there for me. This is another reason why I have found it so difficult to tell you until now. I am so sorry if this causes you any pain. I have prayed for a long time it does not. Mom you have told me that you are proud of me and I have grown up to be a good son. I hope you still feel this way. I am the same person as before. Nothing else has changed. If you have any questions just ask me. Like always I will be as honest with you as I can.

    Your Son,

    Ed

    I don't think I am going to mention to my parents right away that I am seeing someone. I want them to first absorb the fact I am gay. Any advice, feedback? Thanks!
     
    #1 EM68, Jan 4, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2009
  2. Lexington

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    Letter written. Now go deliver it, so you can get on with the rest of your kick-ass life. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. beckyg

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    It sounds great Ed! Go for it! (*hug*)
     
  4. Mickey

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    YAY! You can do it,you really can! Your letter is really good. It says just enough
    to let them know who you are and that you love them.
    Your parents are already proud of you. That will not change. You are the same son you were BEFORE you told them. I know it's scary,but you're doing the right thing.
    Once it's all out in the open,you may wonder why it took you so long. It's time for you to live your life the way it's meant to be lived.
    Take a deep breath and "go for it!" You'll feel so much better . Coming out to family is hard,no matter what your age. You know we're all here for you. We're like your own personal Verison Network! We got your back!
    Please,let us know how it went. We care! ( and I'm one of your biggest cheerleaders!)
    Good luck,sweetie. Mickey*
     
  5. ColbieMarie

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    That is a very good letter. Let us know how your parents react.
     
  6. Gerry

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    The letter sounds good. Hope everything goes well! :slight_smile:
     
  7. Starshine16

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    That's a great letter.I agree with your decision not to tel lthem you are seeing someone right away.They will need time to deal with the idea of you being gay first before you make it "more real" for them by introducing your boyfriend to them.
     
  8. summersforecast

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    That was such a beautiful letter. I'm really proud of you that you can come out to your parents now. You definetly have the right idea by not telling them you have a boyfriend at the same time you come out to them. Report back here when you get there reaction I hope it goes well for you. Good Luck!
     
  9. EM68

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    Thanks guys! I will probably be giving them the letter next weekend. I usually see them on Sundays. You guys are right I am not going to mention the guy I am seeing, unless they ask.
    I will keep you all posted!!
     
  10. tm74

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    Ed

    Wow. I think the letter is everything it needs to be - and like others, I agree that it's probably best not to throw the relationship into the mix yet... see how they react to this, and let them get used to the idea...

    Good luck, and keep us all posted - we've all been here beside you when you had second thoughts over Christmas - when you give them the letter/talk to them - remember that although we're not there with you, we're all thinking of you, and we're here to talk to if you need us.

    (*hug*)

    Tom
     
  11. Pendrin2020

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    You Da' man Ed.

    To thine own self be true.

    Kick Ass. Good luck.
     
  12. Mirko

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    I think it's a great letter! Go for it! I hope it goes well for you.
     
  13. BitterEdge

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    hope all goes well.
     
  14. george678

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    Good luck.
     
  15. s5m1

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    Great letter. We are behind you 100%. Good luck!
     
  16. EM68

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    Thanks everyone! I am not really nervous anymore. I just want to get it over with.

    I was talking to my best friend tonight on the phone. I almost came out to him while we were talking, but thought it might be better to tell him in person. Anyone ever come out to their friends on the phone? I want to tell him soon, but we don't see each other as much as we used to because he is married and has a child.
     
  17. gaius

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    I think with your best friend I did it in person,and it was the best choice although it's more scary ! Good luck!
     
  18. EM68

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    Today I printed out the letter that I am going to give to my parents. It feels so real now. I am starting to get anxious. I just want Sunday to be over with!
     
  19. Lexington

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    Sounds great!

    Actually, coming out by phone is, I think, totally acceptable. You're still doing the telling, you're available to answer any questions he might have, everything.

    Lex
     
  20. EM68

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    I might do that if I can not see him. He is very busy now, he had a 4 yr old and his wife is due with twins next month.