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...Okay. I think I might be almost ready.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by galaxygia, Sep 12, 2015.

  1. galaxygia

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    Um hi-

    So I've been accepting myself as gay for a while now (or for around a year and a half, I guess not too long but it sure feels like a while) and I think I might be almost ready to come out to my parents. I've been at this stage for a while and I've been kinda thinking 'Oh I should probably tell my parents' but then I rethink it again and my brain goes 'Nah, not yet'. It's like I'm almost too lazy to do it and I keep making excuses not to but I think it's hurting me gradually the longer I wait. I keep getting more and more chances to come out but each time I let them pass by. Example:

    My parents and I were watching Pretty Little Liars (yes, my family watches the craziest shows) and if you watch the show you know that one of the main characters, Emily Fields, is gay. So we paused in the middle of the show after one of her scenes and we get some stuff to drink and things like that. I asked my dad what his favorite character was and he talks about that for a little bit and then he asks who I like most. Honestly, my favorite character is Emily. This would have been the PERFECT chance to come out using Emily as the transition into that conversation but I was STUPID and I just said I didn't really have a favorite character. :bang:

    Is there a way I can just make it past this stage and stop being so jumpy and nervous about coming out to my parents? They're not homophobic and I'm 95% sure that they'll accept me without much of a thought but I'm still so frickin NERVOUS about it. :dry:

    I'm sorry my post was so long XD
     
  2. Linus

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    Uh, I guess I would plan this out, instead of deciding on the spot. If you need to use Pretty Little Liars, use that. Just start a conversation on it, and then guide it from there. You could ask what your parents think of Emily being gay, I suppose.

    If PLL doesn't work for you, find something else. A debate in media, a pride poster, whatever works. Then you guide the conversation to the point where there's no backing out. Sometimes it helps to trap yourself in a situation. Or, you could hint to your parents, by showing your support for LGBT pride.
     
  3. bookandquill

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    To be honest, I'm not an expert on coming out at all. My parents found out (clear your browser history!) and when I came out to my friend I just gave them a letter because I was too scared to talk about it. But I'll try to give you my best advice: why bother right now? Just wait until you have a girlfriend and then tell them. Or you can hint it to them and just be creative. There's no one way to come out, so just do what you feel is best :slight_smile:
     
  4. bubbles123

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    After keeping it a secret and having it be something that's just part of your own thoughts, it's easy to get to the point where you just feel it's easier to keep it hidden. So you shouldn't be too hard on yourself for not doing it. It's a big jump sometimes, even when you're telling accepting people.
    Since your parents are accepting you don't have much to worry about. It's very common to get the courage up to tell someone, but when you have the opportunity you just can't get the words out of your head. I mean, it can seem scary in the moment even when you know it's what you should do and you don't have much to worry about.
    You just have to recognize this though and tell yourself "You know what, maybe it's been easy just keeping it in my head this long, but I can't do this forever. It's not fair to me and yeah it might be hard right when I do it but I just have to rip the band-aid off and tell them so I can go on living more freely and open. I deserve this. This is what's best for me."
    I wish you the best of luck, but I'm sure you'll be able to do it and it will go well<3(*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 12th Sep 2015 at 10:29 PM ----------

    You could also write a letter if you think that would be easier. It may feel weird to do, but if that's what you need to do, then you should. Whatever works for you.
     
  5. galaxygia

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    Omg guys thanks so much for all your advice! I've definitely thought about waiting until I have a girlfriend and have come to that conclusion before but then my mom will mention something about me having a boyfriend someday and it'll open up that daunting task of coming out again. >.< I used PLL to elaborate on how close I've gotten to saying the words before and I'm not sure if I really want to use it for that purpose but I may have to... The only other time LGBT topics come up is when that darn Rowan County clerk comes on the news and I don't want to come out because of her...

    I probably won't come out this month, or next month, or maybe even until next year but who knows. I kept putting off coming out to my best friend but one day I just couldn't hold it in any longer and it all just fell out. XD It was really funny, I was so nervous and upset that she thought I was moving away or someone died.