Everyone I know is Jewish and orthodox. That means 95% of them are homophobic. I'm currently in a Jewish college right now and it's almost impossible for me to consider any of the people I talk to as friends. Oh sure, they all like me and think I'm funny and social but the whole time I'm thinking "if I told you I was gay, would you still like me"? No of course not. They would turn their backs on something so trivial as homosexuality. I guess because of this fact (that I've only ever had Jewish friends in my lifetime) is what makes me bitter to my own religion. I hate these Jews for forcing me to live a lie for 20 years. I hate them for their horrible bigotry and comparing me to a patient with cancer. I hate the fact that I'm truly alone in this world with zero "real" friends to support me. This has caused me to inwardly stray away from Judaism. On the outside, I act all Jewish and go to prayers and dress in the Jewish style. On the inside I secretly rebel. Even now, I'm sitting typing this is on the Jewish new year when we're not allowed to use electronics. Well I simply don't give a *** anymore about these Jewish laws. If Judasim is really correct then aren't I going to hell anyways for being gay? No point in keeping any of the other laws then. I'm sorry for ranting but when your as alone as me there's really nowhere else you can turn to
I'm really sorry you feel alone. If they're really threatening or intimidating you, leave. Education is not worth letting yourself be denigrated and demeaned over, and you could go to another school later anyway. Plus, religion is the biggest sham of all mankind! Go you, person. Do what you need to do.
I can totally identify with this. It's very hard for me to think of any of them (friends/acquaintances) as "actual friends", even though most of them are quite nice and have been of great help whenever I've needed it, I just know things will be different when I come out. On the bright side, I feel better knowing that in a few years, hopefully, I won't be dependent of them and can surround myself with people for whom this won't be an issue.
