Do I have to have a gender for you to understand me? Yeah I have a gurl body. So i date gurls. but my gay guy side like gay guys... But i can't date gay guys because i'm a gurl body. gay guys only want to date guy bodys not gurls. but I still have a guy soul! :icon_cry: but I also have a gurl soul. Who dates gurls. I would never change my gender because i will always be unsatisfied. why can't people just like me for who my SOUL is. not my body? I have guy soul and gurl soul. but the guy soul is never satisfied and makes me feel left out. the gurl side gets all of the attention. but i still feel lost. what AM i?? :bang: :eusa_doh: why do i even have to have a gender? people look at you differnt and refer adn talk to you different just because of you gender... can anyone possibly understand me? I look at guys. like a GUY. I look at gurls as a GURL. i'm not BISEXUAL!!!!! :tantrum: but who can i date? my gurl side won't let me datea guy. because that guy would be straight adn like me for a gurl. a gay guy would never date me because i'm not a guy. (the following is a little personal adn DEEP *be warned*) even though i've never done anything sexual, my guy side wants anal as if my body has no vagina. and from a guy... And my girl side likes... anything pleasuring, but from a gurl. a guy would make her feel uncomfortable... the guy side has been ok so far. he hides in teh depts of my heart... he's crying. but my gurl side holds him and hides his broken pain... they are both lost, wanting to care for each otehr as one. trapped in one body... could i let go of him, in which i hold so tightly as if its a part of me. it would tear my soul apart... I dress butch somedays to make him happy. i just wish people could see whats on my inside, my soul... would a transexual be good for me? they changed gender... but they would be both body and one different soul... maybe understanding. am i the only double-souled bi-gender? is there no one else?? **my souls hide in a corner consouling each otehr, crying, hoping....** *I, my body and confused single mind, types...*
There is no crying emoticon...That almost made me cry! I can understand you so much! I feel almost the same way, two personalities trapped in one body. Can't give you any advice...only because i have no answers not because i dont want to! I just want you to know, I can relate to you and i care bout you! I hope you find some good advice(*hug*) <3
That was very well written! I too know what you mean and I must say... you said it all. There is no need to define who are, because what you described you would only be limiting who you are!! I hope you know that you have alot of friends who will accept who you are no matter who that is!!!(!) (&&&) (&&&)
No you are not the only one that battles with gender.... but I do have to say you articulated the struggle as I have never heard it before... I do wish you the best and hope you find that soul that will satisfy your emotional needs as one and end your struggles and need to define yourself...
You are you, and that is all that you need to be. If anyone else puts a label on you, that is their difficulty in grasping the situation. You know that you are not reduced to a label. You are unique, you are an individual. Be proud of who you are, and don't let anyone force a change of you.
Wow - I have to agree that you expressed yourself really well! I can't relate to your situation, but based on what you wrote, I do feel like I understand you. I don't know what to suggest, other than to say as well that you need to be comfortable with you - because you're unlikely going to be able to change something this fundamental. I hope you're encouraged by the fact that there have already been people respond here that said they COULD relate to how you felt. That suggests to me that you could very well find people close to you that are at least sympathetic to your situation - and maybe even able to relate to you intimately some day. I hope you're able to find someone that can satisfy at least a part of you.
You are very much NOT alone....I actually discovered my masculine side after I became willing to express my femaleness....I'm a very alpha female and I love being that way... I went through a period of identifying as many things as I had sex with many different people and you know what? The sex never changed.....I was always and only me. Honest people will tell you that life is about self-discovery, not about defending territory. If you want a generic label, you would so, so SO fit the term "genderqueer" . I have many young friends like you....just be your beautiful self.
i just wanted to say that i really empathise with your post. i feel like this sometimes. i feel like i have a guy side in me who is attracted to other guys in a gay way. but i know that my physical body is never going to allow that. i cannot understand the nature of my attraction to men... i sometimes feel like i don't want to be with a man as a woman. what you said about your guy side hiding inside you, crying... that struck me. basically, i just want to say, don't fel alone. i think i feel the same as you in lots of ways. i could really understand lots of what you said. you are not the only one. we just have to find a way to be ourselves as best we can. *guy side of me hugs guy side of you and they both stop crying*
I quote, from Celine Dion - 'That's the way it is': 'When you want it the most there's no easy way out When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt Don't give up on your faith Love comes to those who believe it And that's the way it is.' I can't say that I understand what you're going through because I've never been in that position myself. However, I completely sympathize with you; your post really struck a chord. I must admit, I've never seen gender expressed in such a way, but it really made me think: we really aren't so divided into 2 groups called 'male' and 'female' after all. You say that your girl side likes girls and your 'gay guy' side likes gay guys. Your 'gay guy' side is feeling left out because your biological gender is female, so it's impossible for you to date gay guys because they only want to be with biological males. Therefore having transsexual surgery will not work because no matter which gender you are, half of your soul will never be satisfied. It really made me sad to read that. Now, let's look at the words I quoted from 'That's the way it is'. I think that if you believe in yourself, and be strong, and think positively, you'll eventually find someone who will make you happy. And I know that it might sound very difficult right now, but let me tell you, brooding over it too much won't solve anything, and won't make you feel better. I suggest that you focus more on other aspects of your life rather than just the romantic aspect; there are plenty of things that make a person whole, and romance is only one of many. Don't just date people because of their gender/sexuality. Step back a bit and wait, and when you find someone you truly love, and they love you in the same way, then think about dating them. Hopefully this will feel a lot better than trying to find someone who fits all the criterias of your soul/gender/sexuality. I hope this advice has helped.
