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Dad...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by george678, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. george678

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    I dont like my Dad he hates the fact I am gay.
    He has said this:
    1. It is un natural
    2. It ends up in misery
    3. I will die from AIDS
    4. It worrys him

    1.It is un natural
    Yer I know but I cant help being who I am he goes "you can"
    2.It ends up in misery
    Only if your a low life tart fucking diffrent men every night
    3.I will die from AIDS
    No not if I use procted sex methods etc
    4.It worrys him
    Good get over it like I had to



    He also said I am not like that I am thinking "he is sterotyping"
    What should I say?
     
  2. beckyg

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    Your dad has fears about something that he knows nothing about. This is perfectly normal. What you need to do is reassure him and ease his fears by educating him and being truthful with him. Tell him if you are still a virgin. Tell him that when you do decide to have sex that you will be fully protected! Print off the PFLAG information for him. Keep talking to him and educating him. Eventually his fears will be diminished.
     
  3. george678

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    I dont think so he does'nt want to read PFLAG his words were
     
  4. Johnny123

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    I'd suggest you just don't argue. Say: "I'm sorry, but do you really think I'd choose to put myself at such a disadvantage to the rest of the world?"

    I'm dreading the scene with my dad. I absolutely know I'm going to get really angry and say: "At least I'm confident enough to face up to who I am - you're the most obvious repressed homosexual I've ever seen, and I never want to end up as sad and on edge as you!" Because it's what I'll be thinking.
     
  5. george678

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    Yes it pisses me right off.
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there! Even if these were his words, just print it off and leave it for him. Sometimes, even when someone has these perceptions, they start changing over time. Remember that you are the one who can educate your parents by talking to them. Yes, it can and probably will take some time for your dad to come around and realize that it is natural, it does not end up in misery, and you won't die from AIDS (if you are careful and use protection every time).

    The last point however, "it worries him" could be and most likely is the reason why he has these perceptions and thoughts about it. Again, education is key. At least try to give him the material. If he doesn't want to read it now, just leave it somewhere where he can see it and he might just pick it up and start reading it. But also give him some time. Sometimes, parents need a little while to get used to it/come around to it. Also, just keep on doing the things that you have been doing so that your parents can see that you are still the same person.
     
  7. george678

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    Ok is there any PFLAG stuff that says about homophobic parents?
     
  8. Mirko

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    PFLAG material is designed to educate parents about homosexuality. So, any material will really do. Here is a link to one of the brochures, which provides some answers to questions that parents have:

    http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Daughters_Sons.pdf

    Also, pm Becky, maybe she has also some other material that she might be able to send you.
     
  9. george678

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    Thanks Asteroid.
     
  10. Rosina

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    I agree with what's been said before: print out the PFLAG and just leave it out for your dad. He'll come around.

    Maybe another thing you could do is get your mum to talk to your dad. I am assuming that your mum takes this better, since you've not mentioned her. I think sometimes parents can feel threatened if their gay child starts trying to talk to them about the issue, like he/she are trying to press their views on them, they can get very defensive. To have someone on their "side", as they may see it, may help.
    Talk to your mum and see what she says, if she reckons that she can talk to him, great! Often with one parent giving other the support they need when they feel alone and threatened, it helps a lot.
     
  11. george678

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    Thanks Mum is not fussed I doubt she would speak to him though.
     
  12. beckyg

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  13. george678

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    Thanks Becky(*hug*)
     
  14. george678

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    My Dad says I am attention seeking.
     
  15. Bunny

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    That doesn't make any sense, he's the one making a big deal out of it.
     
  16. george678

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