As the title may suggest, I'm a first-year in college. Since early junior year of high school I've been waiting for this opportunity for freedom and independence and an accepting environment. Some naive part of me believed that once I reached college, it'd be easy to come out. But I am proving myself SO wrong. I almost feel as time goes on, my closet door shuts tighter and tighter, and I'm miserable. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my school! And with engineering classes, ROTC, and IM sports, I stay pretty busy. I use this reason as my excuse when my mother asks if I've seen any potential girlfriends. My school has exceptional resources available to the LGBT community, from an LGBTQ Center to various "safe spaces" throughout Grounds. I visited the Center briefly to learn more about it, but nearly had a panic attack while talking to one of the volunteers, which is nothing like me. I just don't know what to do, and I hate it. Despite all these phenomenal resources, I'm too scared to seek help. I guess it explains why I'm asking the internet for advice, safe behind anonymity. More than anything else, I need someone to talk to. I need someone who I can spill my secret to, and crack my closet door. The problem is, I'm too terrified to look for help, and if I found it, I'm not sure I could even utter the words. Has anyone been through a similar situation? All responses are appreciated. I clearly need all the help I can receive. Thank you!
Continue going to LGBT events to meet people who you can share your fears and anxiety with. One regret I have was waiting until the end of college to come out. It is so much easier to come out in college because you can define and build your community. It is also a time of great exploration for many people making it easier to make friends. There are so many students in the same situation as you preparing to live their truth you just have to strike up a conversation. I know it seems hard now but trust me the more time you spend in the closet in college you will regret it afterwards it truly is one of the best times of your life and you want to make sure you are living your truth to make it even better. Take baby steps and you will be surprised where you are in a year.
A lot of campus LGBT centers have a staff member in charge. That may be a good person to reach out to, whether in person or via email. They can answer your questions and ease any concerns you have.
Hey. I'm in a very similar situation. I'm in my first year as well. I came out to my mom when I was moving in, and no one else. I was hoping that I would be fine being "completely out" in college, but it's so much harder when you actually try to do it. I thought about going to the LGBT equality center, but decided against it. The fact that no one has any clue whatsoever that I am gay makes it much harder. And by any chance, do you go to UMD college park?
I don't know if this will help but I saw this video recently. It's this girl's coming out story and she was kind of out in high school actually and she expected that going to college she could be fully open. But despite that, it took her a while to muster up the courage to tell just one person. After that, though, she got better at it and told more people. [YOUTUBE]oJBydgrKEsU[/YOUTUBE] Don't put pressure on yourself. You've come out to one friend which takes a lot of courage and you should be proud of yourself for that. Coming out is hard though when you haven't done it much before and haven't been able to be open about it. It's natural for you to be scared and you shouldn't expect yourself to just come right out with it and be super open about it right off the bat. It's not an easy thing and it's hard to know where to start. Do you have any close friends in college yet? You could confide in them. I know that may seem scary and definitely only do it if you feel ready and know them to be accepting people. It may be hard/feel weird with someone you just met but they'll really appreciate that you wanted to confide in them and will probably be very helpful. Is there a councilor or something? You could try that. I think once you just break the ice it will get easier once you get used to telling that to someone and knowing that there is someone there to support you. Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself! We're all here for you(*hug*)
