"are you gay"

i had the same problem but i sent her an email to come out. now she beleves that i'm sexually confused and that she "can't see me being with another man". and now she wants me to see a therapist so i won't be confused. sorry about the rant.

 

Well, it does sound like she is open-minded on the matter. So whenever you do choose to come out hopefully it will be a positive reaction! If she has asked more than once than she must have a really good idea about your sexuality. She might know more than you think she does and she just wants to reach out to you and talk about it.

Don't do anything until you feel ready though, there is no rush here. You need to be comfortable first and you'll know when you are.

 

I think I would be pissed if someone was basically forcing me to come out. That is what it sounds like anyways. Maybe some of us here are desperately wanting a situation like this to happen to them so they can just get it over with. But it is a tad rude if you ask me. Though I don't know exactly what is going on because I am not there with you, obviously.


Be proud of yourself! Most of all don't be finicky or they might just run with that "confused" theory just to make themselves feel better.

 

It's a shame that your own mother doesn't understand how much trouble your condition causes...

However, the answer to most problems is to do the most obvious thing. Tell her. You've been able to communicate with us here in this thread quite clearly - so perhaps it's as easy as simply printing this off and handing it to her. At a minimum you could recapture the thoughts you've expressed here - both about your orientation and your frustration over her insisting you 'talk' about it - and give her that note.

And it if upsets her, remind her that SHE brought up the subject, and that if she wasn't prepared for the truth, she shouldn't have asked.

Remember that parents typically go into denial first. So expect that kind of reaction. Even though she had her suspicions, she doesn't want to admit she was right.

Good luck.

 

If you can't tell her then your just not ready so don't stress about it. As for answering the question I prefer to say, "what do you think?" in a matter a fact way. Really though that's not pathetic at all of coarse you have trouble talking about something like that it's a very sensitive issue.

 

Perhaps she wants you to say something because she had doubts before and has kept asking you hoping the answer's no? To hear it from the horses mouth is what she wants, but don't feel pressured to talk to her, if she reads your notes, just say it's hard for you to say it to her face. Perhaps what you can do is record yourself and send her recording, that way you satisfy her want to hear you and make it easier for yourself.

 

Well i think she is trying to force you out of the closet to me, thats a good thing! It must mean she still loves you, cause trust me my mother knew the entire time but never talked about it cause she didnt want it to be a reality. If your mother confronts you, thats a good thing! Just let it all out to her she sounds like a good person

 

Nod.

Lex

 

Well don't stress try to like wait till your ready, but maybe your mom is just interested in knowing what is going on in your life and stuff. Hopefully she is the type that is open =] and btw i didn't tell my parents either cause like i don't think its the right time yet so yah

 

Well done. Your mother sounds like a nice person. Take care of her, this is as hard for her as it is for you.

 

The whole point of coming out is that you DON'T have to return to the subject. Once it's known, it's known. When you start dating a guy, you won't have to explain the relationship to your mother - she'll understand now.

Lex

 

Well Do You Know The Answer To Her Question?? If You Don't Or Even If You Do And Are Just Afraid To Tell Her Or Admit It I Suggest You Take Some Time To Yourself And Do Some Serious Thinking, Try To Avoid Her To Help Prevent Her From Asking Again And Putting Pressure On You. Take A Couple Days And Think About The Question And Go To Her On Your Own With Your Answer (Before She Has The Chance To Ask It Again.) I Think That Is The Bravest Thing To Do And I Am Sure She Will Understand! :]

 

Weyhey, a fellow gay Asperger

Congrats on telling her, just for future reference when I (finally) come out, did she try and blame it on Aspergers?