My parents don't know that I'm genderqueer and polysexual (preference for binary females or other genderqueers). I tried explaining it to two friends I have, one was awkward and confused so he decided to just not talk about it. The other kind of...ignored it? Completely? Only my best friend knows and comprehends and is even aware of it because he came out to me as ftm trans. I hate being referred as she/her and I despise hearing my female name! I have my own name that I wanted to be referred to as, and I want to referred to as they/them/their. But it's difficult to do so. There's the fact that many at school will probably not even be aware what genderqueer is. And, I'm the only child my mom has. She wants me to have long hair, wear makeup and dresses, and to have children so she can be a grandma. But I don't want any of that (except for makeup :/). I just want to be able to have the courage to come out to my mom, and be able to freely buy chest binders without feeling the need to hide the reason for why I want it. I had a conversation with my best friend today about buying chest binders, and he suggested to ask for one and lie about it. I am considering that of course, but I wish I didn't have to hide! Super scared and feeling a large amount of anxiety :/ Any suggestions?
To be honest, a lot of the reason for coming out is because you build up to a point where you just can't take not doing it. You'll get there eventually. Also, could there be serious repercussions to coming out (e.g., being cut off financially)? If not, then I would wait for the point where you really feel you have to, or try writing down your thoughts or something so you can build up the courage to come out before you feel the huge pressure of not saying anything.
Thanks. And I think there could be serious repercussions so I guess I'ma have to wait. But I suppose a year and a half (which is how long I have until I finally get to leave the house) can fly by quickly.
If I can offer something, depending on your relationship with your mother, I would try and talk to her, you never know just how understanding parents can be to their children. If she has no idea what you are talking about, then explain the best way that you can as to how you feel about who you are. Having a parent by your side is better than anything, because a parent is with you until death, unlike friends who come and go. I'm not saying to that lightly either, I mean, I know that it must be a difficult time. I remember when I tried to talk to my parents about me, and they just kinda just blew it off, however that was back in the 90's. Not everyone knows what a genderqueer/polysexual is, and it would be nice if you could come up with a understandable meaning to it to people you are trying to open up too. Think of a clever way to draw a picture in someones mind to get them to understand what that is. I'm sure it's more difficult than just a few words to explain, but really, think about it, the pace things are changing in our society, it's about as difficult to keep up with as it is with the latest technology. I'm curious as to how you came up with that combination in the first place though?
Haha, it just is I guess? I mean I'm attracted to people who are also genderqueer like me, but the only gender I'm attracted to that's binary is female. The rest of the genders are fair game for me I guess
