Well, I want to come out as Trans to my parents. I've been wanting to for a long time. I even had made a plan to tell them within the next month. But there's a new development. I found out today that my dad has a problem with gambling. My mom found out yesterday. I want to come out, but I know this is a SUPER stressful time for them (it's stressful enough for me). I just don't know how much longer I can handle hiding myself from them and listening to "Son" and "Sir" and "Mister" anymore. I also don't want to pile one more thing on them. I want to make everything as easy as I possibly can for them so I don't want to come out just yet, but at the same time, I essentially need to soon. You know... I'm not real sure what I'm asking for. Just some advice or thoughts on my situation, I guess. Thanks.
I would probably wait until things calm down a little bit in your household. The problem is, there almost never is a "right' time to come out. Just some are better than others. When your folks are in a fairly calm state is when you want to try. When they're watching TV for example. If they're in a combative or highly emotional state already, you don't want to add fuel to their fire. In that case you or they would be more likely to do something you later regret. Have you tried testing the water with your parents? Dropping hints. Maybe asking them about Caitlynn Jenner. How are they generally around LGBT people. If coming out to them could get you harmed, or possibly thrown out and you have nowhere to go, I would advise against it. If your parents seem pretty open and accepting, are in a good mood, I say go for it.
They're super accepting. I forgot to mention that I'm already out to them about my sexuality and they already expected something along those lines. I just don't want to stress them out even more right now with everything that's going on. And now I'm a bit mad at myself for not coming out before when I had the perfect opportunity but i decided to wait for a better one (which was just me chickening out) It's just gotten to a point where I can't focus on anything else except how awful i look, how wrong my body is, how deep my voice is, and the pronouns.... it's constantly on my mind now and I'm not sure how much longer I can take everything constantly circling around before my grades start to drop from not being able to pay attention during class.
Don't beat yourself up for not coming out about your gender at the same time as your sexuality. Sometimes we have to deal with one big thing at a time and then pause to reflect before confronting the next hurdle. It's not the best time to tell your parents, I can't deny that, but you do need to consider your emotional wellbeing and future too. If it's really distressing and distracting and you are suffering every single day you might need to put your own interests first so things don't become even worse for you. It sounds like your parents and kind and loving people who have your best interests at heart and I'm sure it would increase their stress levels to think that you are going through hell when they can do something to help. You're probably not going to find a perfect moment while your parents are dealing with the gambling issues, so just try to find a reasonably calm moment like guitar mentioned above.
Thank you, PatrickUK. Now I don't feel so bad for wanting to come out to them so desperately still. I'll wait for a couple months probably, let everything settle down first. But I will tell them this year, as long as nothing else comes up in the near future. I so do not want to wear pants to prom. Thanks again.
