Is it worth coming out for bi?

Hi !

I came out to my family this summer as bisexual and my boyfriend had trouble understanding why I did it since I'm in a commited relationship with him. I think we all have different reasons for coming out, and I do agree it's less vital for bisexuals since we can "pass" as straight (that's probably a reason some us get some jealousy/trash from other member of the community who don't have that luxury, although I never had that problem).
Anyway, if you don't feel the need to come out you don't have to.
The most important thing is that you're not lying to yourself about who you truly are, after all your sexual life is your private garden and you get to decide who you let in, and what they get to see about it.
I'm under the impression that it's harder to come out for bi guys than for bi girls and it really depends of your situation (how open minded is your family ?). Plus, keep in mind that you don't have to come out to everybody at once. You can just tell one person you trust and that's it. It can be good to have someone to confide in. Especially if you happen to fall in love with a guy at one point.

Anyway, those were my two cents, do whatever you feel like with them,
Have a nice day !

 

I agree with rainbowtheorist. Although do try and make sure that you are staying in the closet for the right reasons--whatever those are for you.

As someone who realized I was bi late in life, I now wish I'd been more in touch with my desires, as I would have loved to have had a relationship with a woman. Too late for me now: although I will eventually come out, I am in a committed marriage to a straight man.

 

yes

 

Here's my thought: What makes you say it's trouble? I understand not everyone is in an lgbt-friendly environment and the possibility of being made fun of is a really unpleasant idea but coming out is totally worth it. Even if you're not necessarily scared of someone finding out it feels like a massive weight has been lifted. Life looks brighter somehow when you're more confident and people are looking at and talking to the real you. Not just some brave face that you put on every morning.

It's your choice to make obviously but if you're not worried about what others will think then why bother putting in the effort to keep it a secret?

 

I'm bi and I came out to my friends but I don't think I'll ever come out to my parents because I feel I don't even owe them that. It's not that they'd hate me or disown me, they wouldn't, but I just don't see a point. I only told my friends because I'm close with them and I tell them everything and we spend most of our waking moments with eachother and I care about them. I love my parents but they'd probably be less accepting than my friends, though as I said they wouldn't ever disown me or not love me anymore. I just don't see a point. My advice, come out to your friends but you down owe shit to anyone else.

 

I think it depends how your bisexuality work. If your attraction and emotional connection to the opposite sex is much stronger than the one you feel for the same-sex then there is not much point in coming out if you don't want to.

Personally it was important to me to come out and I don't regret having come out at all. I am attracted to guys, yes, but I am also attracted to women. In my case, I am actually more emotionally connected to women than men which mean that my chances of ending up with another woman are higher than me being in a 'straight relationship' long-term so I wanted people to know.

 

I personally, found that coming out as bi was quite easy. People don't really look at me any differently.
I think you should do it, it's not too much hassle. If you lose friends, they're assholes anyway so... I think you should tryand educate people if they don't know that much, it's definitely better the more people that know things. But yeah, I think you should go for it. Good luck! (If you choose to do it)

 

Of course it's worth coming out as bi it is part of who you are you should feel free to talk about it to whoever you want, it may seem pointless in your head but it will really help in discovering who you are x

 

You shouldn't let what others think make you hide a part of yourself. If you want to date guys but can't, or always feel like hiding the fact that you're checking out guys and everything else that goes with it, you are hiding a big part of yourself from those you love, which can create distance. I mean, you don't have to tell everyone if you don't want to, but you should think about what keeping it a secret will mean for you going forward in life. If you want to date a guy someday, you should. Having the added anxiety of no one knowing will make it very hard on you. Also, if you do actually want to date guys someday, it's going to be harder since none of them would even know you're into guys to begin with.
You never know what the future will hold for you and you don't want to hold yourself back. You should also consider how hiding parts of yourself affect your relationships with others. Trying to hide something like that can make you put up a lot of walls without realizing it and can keep you from feeling like you can be open and real with people at all, especially over time.

And look, it's worth it. It may seem scary at first telling people, but it doesn't change anything in the long run. People will just know something about you they didn't. And by doing just that, you've opened up a whole new world of opportunities and freedom for yourself.

It may be easier if you want to tell just some friends/family that you're close with or that you'd be comfortable with knowing right now.

I know it's probably not the answer you want to hear, but I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you do what's best for you<3

 

Coming out is always a very personal decision and it looks like you are being quite thoughtful about it. You will have to come out in some capacity if you ever want to try dating men. Also if you ever go for a long-term relationship you will need to let them know this about you.

In the meantime try to make some more progressive friends or utilize a therapist. Then you could be out to someone who will maintain confidentiality.