Okay, so at the moment, this has nothing to do with being gay, but it may in the future. I'm part of a Youth Ballet Company that consists of one fifth grader, two sixth graders, an eighth grader (me), six freshman, two sophomores, and three seniors. The 5th and 6th graders, me, and one freshman are new this year. The freshman (freshwoman?) was immediately accepted and fit right in because she has lots of friends in the Company. They are mostly the ones that don't seem to care- they're all pommies, and they miss dance all the time to go to football games and stuff. And yet, they're sort of the "cool" kids. The older girls are all friends and comfortable with each other too. Yet I'm stuck with the three other new girls- who are two and three years younger than me. I love them, I really do, but I'm mature for my age and I'd really like to have some friends closer to my age or a little older. It's not that they're outright mean, but they're not welcoming. Classes started in September and I still don't feel like a real part of the group. I thought after Nutcracker- you know, doing a show together and bonding and whatnot- it would be different. But so far it seems like nothing's changed. I know it isn't just my imagination, too- four girls quit last year because other people were being mean to them. Dancers can be and a lot of times are very mean people. And somehow, this really matters to me. Partly because it's really scary to be in a dance class with older, better dancers when you don't know if they hate you or not. And also because I NEED DANCE FRIENDS. School friends create drama and I need friends outside of that. I'm beginning to worry that they're never going to accept me and that I'll have to just sit in a corner shyly with the little girls forever. It's to the point where even little things make me really, really happy. Today, for instance, we were talking about movies (because my teacher likes to get off topic like that) and my teacher mentioned that she wanted to see Milk. And I said, "Oh, I want to see it too! But it's R, isn't it?" Well Cameo, my ballet teacher, knows that my mom is gay, so she said, "Your mom won't let you see that?" And I shook my head like a big noooooo, and one of the older girls (the best in the Company, too!) said, "I'll take you!" And I was SO excited. Which may actually be because she's really, really, unfairly pretty, but that's beside the point. I'm fairly certain she was joking anyway. But just the fact that one of them ACKNOWLEDGED me. I have self esteem issues anyway, and I feel so insignificant when they don't speak to me. :icon_sad: I know I can't tell any of them I like girls until I gain friendship and trust- I'm going to give it a few more shows so they know I don't peek in changing rooms. :lol: I'd really like to be close to them and know that I can trust them, though. (a line from Benjamin Button- "in the Company, we have to trust each other..." or something like that.) But I can't come out until I'm friends with them! (Cameo wouldn't care, but some of the girls might... especially the freshmen.) Anyways, there's my sob story. It's been frustrating me for a while. I tried talking to my mom about it, but she said, "What? I didn't hear a word you just said." So that was nice. Advice, por favor? *puppy dog face* ~megan~
Motherly advice that is what you should actually do: Be yourself. If they don't accept you, screw them. What most would do: Change yourself to fit in (Don't do that.)
Girl, you are singing to the choir. I am Miss Social Chameleon. My friend once described it as an opportunisitic extrovert. I can't really give any good advice. You could do what I do and be loud and boistrous so people notice you. Or when the situation calls for it, cute and awkward. I have a bunch of friends now, but I wouldn't call them really good friends. Just be you. But like a better version of it. ... I think I should stay out of the advice section as my advice blows more than a hooker on Ste.Catherine's.
Psht. I like a little awkward in girls. Just tuck your feet inwards when you sit and you'll be on your way to geek chique in no time. :icon_bigg
I don't really know what to say, because I often get the same thing; all I can say is, don't let it affect your self esteem. You're a lovely, friendly, talented girl, and teenagers never like people who are nice. If you know what I mean (*hug*)
It might simply be the way it's going to be. These girls are going to feel the same way about you as you do about the girls that are younger than you. Rght? It's just the way it is... The good news is that they won't be in dance forever, will they? They'll move on and you'll eventually be one of the older girls in the troop, and you can be sure to include the younger members. Perhaps dumb advice from someone that has never been in a dance troop...
I have major problems with being paranoid that people dont like me and so i can totally sympathise. I think you will probably find that the other girls do like you more than you realise but you dont see it because you get worried about it. I would say just try and be yourself and then they will see the great person you are inside and im sure things will work themselves out.
