Can anyone else tell me what that's supposed to feel like? I have come out to others for months but still don't seem to accept it and I cycled from seeing it as something I could cover to something I could treat to something I had to accept for the happiness of others around me and now I'm just about to give up. Is it supposed to feel this exhausting?
First off man, don't give up :icon_bigg Secondly, I could never say I know exactly what you're going through, as no one should be able to for anything, because we are all different. But I do have a good idea and very similar experience. I thought I was bisexual for 2 years, so when I was 13 I thought I knew who I was. I told people, like really close friends and people like that. (Of course I'm not saying you have to go through the same thing I did; we're all different!) But that didn't feel right. It didn't feel fulfilling to me. and in 2 more years time, when I was 15, I was questioning myself for months until I realized I was/am gay. And then when I told someone, it STILL didn't feel fulfilling. So that was a, "are you fucking kidding me" moment. But after a few more months, it finally began to sink in for me. I was gay. And once I realized everything I thought was going to be my future sunk in, I felt so much better. (Coming out to my parents rreeealllyy helped too; but that may just be me.) Once I really let the boulder softly land on me, I felt like myself, felt accepted by myself, and even had an open relationship. Bottom line: Just literally be yourself in every aspect: I'm still limited to that (at least I think) by being out of the closet and doing 3 seasons of sports, but being myslef really, really helps. All you gotta do is do you, and hopefully the rest will follow suit!
As I told someone who was upset with me that I told someone else before I told him and his family. Coming Out is a process that is different for everyone. There is no manual on how to Come Out. You've all of a sudden realized that your not going to be what society dictates you should be. You have to give yourself time to be comfortable with that. Keep in mind this coming from a guy that didn't Come Out till he was 51. Your going to have days when you question everything about yourself. Then your going to have days where you couldn't be happier being who you are. Give yourself some time. It Gets Better.
My thoughts exactly, giving it time and timing is everything. I realize that keeping myself bottled up for 50 years is exhausting. I am sure when I do finally come out that it will be such a relief and probably also exhausting from the release. Hiding is exhausting from my seat. Not sure what if all feels like for anyone else, but the self-realization feels pretty wonderful from here. Be sure and hydrate.. - J
So true Johnny. Hiding is exhausting. Since I've Come Out I've had a calm about myself. I realized it's not the biggest thing in the world that I like dudes. I think everyone thinks the world will end once you Come Out. Just the opposite. A whole new world starts. Can't say that I've mastered this new world. In fact it's rather complicated. I do know it's going to take time to get settled in and I'm willing to put in that time to be happy.
I'm out to 2 people now (1 as of today, YAY!) and it felt really good to be able to explain it, rather than just say it and have it be over with. I explained the Kinsey scale, how I've come to realize my sexuality, my thoughts on it and other people's situations. I'm taking more time getting to know myself for me, rather than for other people. I don't care as much if people know, although, it's still scary. I was asked today by a good friend, and decided to be honest about it. It helps that she's as openminded as I am.
