Well firstly i didn't know where to put this lol,it seemed a bit serious to put in chitchat lol but its not really support and advice either.... So basically i think im happy for the first time in a long time . And i mean properly happy. Obviously there have been times when ive been with my friends where i have been breifly happy, but now i feel differnt. I actually feel happy inside...like content almost. This has not been the case for a fairly long time. I suppose it dates back to the end of my relationship with my boyfriend about 6 months ago. And over that period i have never felt truely happy. It gradually got worse and worse and about 2 months ago was when i was at my lowest. At that point i felt depressed pretty much everynight,and even got depressed when i was with other people. On a few occasions i ended up sitting on my bed crying to myself,and on one occasion broke down when i was out with a couple of friends at the pub and had to be walked home and stayed with til i could stop crying. Which was embarassing and i felt like i had ruined my friends evening. On a few occasions depression crossed my mind but i always pushed it out saying to myself 'no,of course not,that doest happen to people like me'. But after a while i had a long chat with my best friend (who is amazing and the best friend i could ever wish for,she has always been there for me, and is the one person who can cheer me up however i am feeling ) and after this convo we decided it was quite possible i did have depression, since my feeling down had gone on too long to just be 'not feeling great'. I did some research on the internet and found the symptoms from various sources,and yes, i did display most of them. I also did some online assessments and they came out as saying i was depressed. So we decided to admit it. The funny thing is,since then ive gradually felt better. Something about saying it outloud seemed to help. Its now been about a month since ive been depressed alone at night,and the key difference is how i feel happy and content inside,rather than just on happy on the surface,but sad inside,like was often the case before. So heres to hoping that im over it. I suppose i have to recognise that its a personality trait i have, and its likely that i will always be suseptible to getting bouts of feeling very down. But for now i feel good :icon_bigg
I'm so happy for you! I'm glad that you've managed to work through this, and that you are happy now. (*hug*)
Well I Am Happy For You That You Faught Through Your Depression. I Went Through A Terrible Depression Around The Time My High School Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Fo Another Girl In The 11th Grade, It Was So Bad I Came Inches Away From Ending My Life (More Than Once, Each In A Different Way). And Also A Horrible Time For Me Was After My Fatal Car Accident Which I Caused And Ended Somebody Elses Life At The Age Of 17. I Did Not Want To Kill Myself Because I Had Faced Death And I Never Want To Be In That Situation Again Voluntarily, But It Took Over A Year For That Depression To End, I Even Saw A Psychologist To Help Me. I Am Glad That You Have A Friend You Can Call And Be With During Your Difficult Times, Those Are The Kinds Of Friends That Are Worth Keeping. Good Luck In The Future And Take Care Of Yourself :]
I think it depends on what kind of depression you have. Don't get me wrong,I'm glad you feel better! You could have circumstantial depression,which is an event that makes you depressed.( like a break-up ) Or you could have,what I have ,clinical depression,which often requires medication to help the symptoms. I'd like to suggest you speak with a professional,who can determine which you have. There are other kinds of depression,the ones I mentioned are two of the most common. I wish you the best.
:x ....such a touching testimony. Its great to hear u don't slobber at nights anymore over 'who knows what' and you have been getting on with your life. One step closer to self actualization, congrats. Keep it up!
