Well I consider myself pretty straight and have never touched a guy. I love the female form, get very aroused by sexy women, and really don’t seem to fancy men at all. For a long time I've had reason to question my sexuality and have indeed spent a very long time doing just that, questioning myself. Due to many factors, I have been pretty far behind the curve when it comes to relationships and sex. Did casual dating a few times when I was in high school/college (as in we go out 1-2 times just for fun, never get physical at all) but didn't date in any form for most of my teen years due to personal issues (mostly due to massive shyness/social-anxiety problems) through school, I was socially awkward and never fit in with anyone's circle. No one would invite me in to their group. Seeing that I am 32 now and never had a long term GF or a real GF b4. However I have had sex with a female friend of mine and it was a FWB kind of thing. The sex was bad on her part she just laid there as I did everything. In the 6 months we hooked up I never reached an orgasm I just waited until she left. To be fair there was no passion or anything. Dating in the past was kind of easy but I have been on 15 /20 dates and have not felt any connection with any of those women. I found some of them cute but we did not click. To tell the truth I did not real give it time to make a connection only went on a few dates and kina of lost interest. I am just wondering if I am BI or Gay. I will admit there was this one guy that got me excited somewhat. On the other hand there is a girl I have a crush on. On top of what is holding me back from asking out girls I like or getting close to a girl before asking her out. It is all so clear to me now It’s not that I not BF material or there is something wrong with me. Right now I am going back to college and work full time so time for a relationship is not really there. I know I can ask a girl out it not like I am shy or anything it just the fact I never have been in a relationship before. It is as if women are not interested in me or something. I been told by woman that if I wanted a GF all I have to do is ask but it can’t be that simple. Now days I am just so frustrated that I can’t find love and don’t know why. It is getting to the point now that people in my family think I am gay. I do not know what is up with me as of late I been all stressed out about college and work and all the stuff I have to do. BTW I am not a bad looking guy by any means so I have been told.
So I think there are two possibilities: 1. It might be that, for whatever reason, you've grown up without being able to really feel emotional connection to much of anyone. That can happen for a variety of reasons, usually having to do with your family of origin. It's also something that can change, but generally requires some time in therapy to explore what's going on and the origin of the numbing behaviors. If that were the case, you wouldn't feel much of anything for either sex, and it might be difficult to really tell who you're attracted to. 2. It's equally possible that you are gay but have been simply unaware up to this point. That isn't as uncommon as you might think; we seem to see a lot of people here at EC in that situation, and I've met quite a few myself as well. The first situation will most likely require therapy and self-exploration to uncover, so I'll speak more about the second. One way that we can usually get a pretty good glimpse of what the unconscious is doing as far as sexual attraction is by looking at masturbation experiences. To do this, you'll need to masturbate without using porn or other stimuli other than your own fantasies. The idea is basically to experiment masturbating first to fantasies about being with guys (perhaps the guy you had the hots for), and then, in a separate session, to fantasies about girls, and then, in a session where you simply let your mind wander and see what it comes up with. Sometimes repeating this exercise a few times brings more clarity, but in most cases, once you've done this, you'll get a pretty good picture that one or the other (men or women) will cause much stronger arousal and excitement than the other... and that points you in the right direction. You may be able to get a clear answer on that even if the situation I describe in 1. is the case, so that may be a good place to start. The important thing to know is that you're on the journey already, just by talking about it here. Once you engage in it, if you stay with it, I think you'll be surprised how quickly the process can unfold for you.
Well alot of my lack of dating life is because i jave low self-esteem and feel like i have nothing to offer. It is just now with working full time and taking two sometimes three college classes there is no time. Also i would not really give it time to build a connection with the girls I have gone on dates with. It is jarzd to know what a real relastionship is supposed to look like your mom and dad only stayed together for us kids and money reasons. It is also makes aperson feel real good when your parerns tell tou if they jave ro do it over agian they would not have kids.
Maybe youre a demisexual? Just look it up, you dont specifically have to be gay or bi because youre not interested in women youve met
I did look it up I tought everyone felt like you had to have feelings for someone before you had sex with them? There has to be some way to not think like that.
I am not an expert on this but as i know, it is much harder for demi to have sex, since yeah we can find someone cute and be like, why not? But demis have to really find "the one" and date with that person with a relatively longer time to come up to sex.
Well i have to read up more on demisexual. I do find myself as wanting to get to know someone b4 sex but men and woman cant wait. I dont want to sleep with every female i find attractive but do want sex.
