Ok. So, My Ex-Boyfriend Whom I Dated Back In High School/College For About 4 Years And I Are Still Fairly Good Friends. While We Were Dating He Always Told Me He Was Straight, But It Was Strange To Me Because Whenever He Was Around His Guy Friends He Would Joke With Them About Being Gay And Act Gay. At First I Thought He Was Just Messing Around, But Then One Day He Came Over And Went Through My Closet, He Was Trying On My Clothes So I Asked Him, "Why Are You Trying On My Clothes??" And He Told Me That When He Gets Aroused He Likes To Wear Womans Clothing. It Was Weird To Me That He Would Say He Is Completely Straight And Still Joke Around About Being Gay And Now Trying On My Clothes? What The Heck, Make Up Your Mind Man! And Then A Few Years Later He Comes To Me And Says He Needs To Talk To Me. He Tells Me That He Baught A Bunch Of Girls Clothes In His Size A Couple Weeks Ago And Wanted Me To Return Them For Him Because He Was Too Embarrassed. I Laughed And Agreed To Do It. And Then I Sat With Him And I Asked Him "You Know You Can Always Tell Me Anything And I Will Still Love You, Are You Gay?" He Of Course Said No. Ok Well He Broke Up With Me This Past April For Reasons That Only He Knows, He Told Me He Wasn't "The One" For Me And I Needed To Find Someone Who Would Make Me Happy. Well He Moved Out And All Of A Sudden This Huge Change Came Over Him. He Had A Sudden Interest In Hello Kitty, He Baught A Hello Kitty Steering Wheel Cover For His Car, And A Few Other Hello Kitty Merchendise. And He Bought Knee High Socks, You Know The Ones Girls Usually Wear, Those Colorful Ones??! And I Noticed He Had Pink Shoe Laces And There Was Just A Lot Of Other Stuff I Noticed That Had "GAY" Stamped On It, And I Still Ask Him That Question, "Are You Gay?" And He Still Denies It, With A Serious Tone. We Have Been Broken Up For Like 9 Months Now, He Is Still The Same And He Has Not Been With Anyone Else, Sexually Or Any Way For That Matter... And Even When We Were Together He Was Never Affectionate With Me, Ever. We Had Sex Like Once Every Other Month, We Rarely Kissed And He Never Told Me He Loved Me. I Don't Know, What Does Everyone Think? Could It Be Possible He's Gay? I Think Maybe He Could Be Asexual??! Or Maybe He Is Just Trying To Be Different From The Average Straight Guy?? Any Opinions Are Wanted, Thanks For Reading! :help:
He sounds like a cross dresser. He may or may not be gay.Some guys that cross dress do it because they like how the clothes feel on them. It's usually a sexual turn on. He may be gay,too,but that's not always the case. I'm sure he'll tell you,if/when he's ready. He obviously feels comfortable with you,to let you in on his little "secret". Okay,that's my opinion....
Thanks For Your Advice. Well He Tells Me I Am His Best Friend And I Am The Only One He Can Talk To About Personal Stuff. He Could Just Be A Cross Dresser Like You Said, Maybe He Just Likes Feeling Like A Girl Because To Be Honest, Feeling Like A Girl Is Amazing. And I Am Not Just Saying That Because I Am A Girl Haha :icon_wink
He could well be a cross dresser or he could be bisexual or gay and not wanting to admit it. It's hard to say. Only he really knows what's going on. If he wants to tell you he's bi or something, he will. And if not, well then maybe it's not too big of a deal. He's no longer your bf and only a friend. And hey, Hello Kitty is cool. (!) Lol.
He may also be a budding transsexual. Not all cross-dressers end up being transsexuals, but most transsexuals have to cross-dress in order to begin their transitions. Now, we know he likes Hello Kitty and pink and generally girly things. How are his mannerisms though? Does he act girly in general? If you heard him on the phone without a low voice (assuming his voice is low), would you think it was a woman or a man? That sort of thing. If he generally has the personality of a girl, he may be one on the inside already.
errrmm i would never tell my ex girlfriends that im bi lol it would be too weird, i would however tell new ones
Thanks For Your Perspectives. They Helped Me Come Up With Alternate Reasons For His Lifestyle. I Hope That If He Is Gay Or Sexually Confused In Any Way That He Knows He Can Come To Me.... I Seem To Be The One Everyone Of My Friends Go To For Advice! Thanks
I think you're over-analyzing; many straight men enjoy cross dressing for an array of reason, many which are not linked to sexuality. Perhaps this is merely a plea for attention. But of course, there is always the possibility he is gay. Make sure he knows you're there for him and all you can do is wait and offer support.
Yeah He Knows I Am There For Him. And I Know He Could Just Be Looking For Attention. There Is Nothing I Can Do But Wait It Out Anyways ^^
Yeah I Don't Know, It Doesn't Seem Like He Wants To BE A Woman, He Just Likes Feeling Like One And Wearing Womans Clothes Which I Think Is Sort Of Normal For A Guy!?? Oh And He Sounds Normal, Very Straight!!
Dear Aries, If he is 20 years old, like you, he may be experiencing confusion about his sexuality. Having been there once a few years ago, I can tell you that many 20ish guys feel social-sexual pressure in ways that defy labels like "gay" or "bi" or "straight." He may not know where he fits in himself. And he may carrying religious-familial-social-psychological baggage that will not let him accept anything but being heterosexual. Although he shows outward signs of being effeminate, which might lead some to think he is gay, he denies emphatically to you that he is. Unfortunately, American society imposes a "gender straightjacket" on guys that tells them how to act like "men." (Hello Kitty steering wheel covers would not be included on that list.) So, hats off to your friend for bucking monolithic hetero-male culture with pink shoelaces! When I was in my 20s, some people thought I was gay. But I also denied it categorically. I just didn't know what I wanted back then - and didn't want to be labeled as gay (and have all the societal assumptions dumped on me). Now, (in my 40s!) I finally accept that I'm gay. I hope you and your friend don't have to wait that long - if he really is gay. I think it's a little easier to come out now - but there still is substantial social stigma for homosexuality. It's still very tough for young people to admit being gay. I understand your frustration, though, if you wish to have an intimate relationship with him. And I can tell you that rare kissing and sex once a month doesn't fit the pattern of most red-blooded heterosexual American males. They want it all the time! But seriously, If you really like this guy, give him a little time to figure himself out. I know that's probably not what you want to hear. But if he does ultimately come out, you may gain a good friend who remembers your patience and understanding when he was going through a confusing stage in his life. As for the cross-dressing - hard to say what that means. The current psychological regime suggests that cross-dressing (sometimes called "transvestism") can be a highly erotic activity for both heterosexual and homosexual men. And many men who identify as strictly heterosexual find cross-dressing to be quite pleasurable. Yet, in some cases, cross-dressing is a transitory activity (as suggested by some here) which may lead to transsexualism or homosexuality. So, in sum, his taste for women's clothing doesn't definitively answer your question about his sexuality. Hope my long-winded answer helps!
