You see, my friend is gay and he just came out to me. I was like REALLY surprised that he was gay. However, I grew up in a family that actually despises homosexuals! My parents found out that he was gay and told me that I could never see him again. To be perfectly honest, I do not know how okay I am with it myself. I came here to get advice about how I should handle the situation.
First Welcome to Ec ,Secondly you should try to sit down and have a talk with your parents and tell them how u fell about the situation and explain to them that it shouldn't matter with his sexuality .But as a question to you what do you mean when you don't know how ok you are with yourself you should try to find out how u feel about the situation first and then do what i suggested above. If all else fails then you should get his email or aim or something and keep in touch that way.Also would you see him at school you can talk to him there. -Good Luck i hope that helped a bit -Urman
I would tell him about how you are not sure how ok with it you are, he has obviously taken a really big step in coming out to you. I would just tell him that you really appreciate and have noticed this fact but that you need time to come around completely... BTW, I love your name thing... it's great!
As Urman and BlakeHarmony have already said, I believe that telling him you are unsure how you feel is the first step to take with him. However, the fact that you came here to get advice and to learn more about it shows an openmindedness that I think he will appreciate. As long as you are trying to understand, and learn more about it, that's one of the best things you can do with him. Everyone here would be glad to answer questions for you. if you want to know anything, and I bet your friend wouldn't mind talking to you either. He's already shown that he trusts you enough and is comfortable enough with you to come out to you. As for your parents: - what do they actually "know" about homosexuality? or rather, why do they despise homosexuals? - are you living with them? - do you have a way to continue to talk to this friend?
Look guys, he said he doesn't know how he's okay with it, not if. My guess as to why you're okay with it is because you value your friendship with him more than how your parents have "taught" you to feel, which is quite admirable, imo. I would tell your parents that the two of you have a great friendship and that ending it over something like his sexuality makes no sense to you, and I'd ask them why it does to them. I'm pretty sure they'd be hard-pressed to find reason.
My guess is that don't want you to hang out with him, because they now view him as a bad influence. I would explain that you are comfortable with your own sexuality and that your values are strong enough that he won't change them.
Well, the most important thing you have to understand here is that he obviously trusts you a lot to tell you something like that. Try to remember that I'm sure it caused him a lot of stress to come out to you, as it does for virtually everyone when they first come out to an important person in their life. Based on your background, I'm assuming your family, and possibly you, believe that being gay is a decision he made. I just want to make absolute sure that you know that's untrue. So try not to feel like your friend is making some choice that you would feel betrayed by. He is who is is whether he wants to be or not. That said, you need to talk to your friend about exactly how you feel. He was brave and trusting enough to be honest with you, so he deserves the same from you. Just tell him how you feel. If you aren't okay with it, tell him. Afterward, try explaining to your parents how they don't have to approve of your friend's sexuality, but who he is will not change anything about you, and they shouldn't worry so much about your friend's life. They can feel free to worry about you, but the fact is your friend being gay really will not change anything with you. If you really are true friends, I know you'll continue to be good friends through this. Good luck. No. "I don't know how okay with it" is different than "I don't know how I am okay with it". He's stating he is unsure if he is okay with it and if so, to what extent.
Thank you so much for being open minded enough to want to come here and learn. I admire that. What I would suggest for you is to learn about homosexuality so that you can first, be a support to your friend. Secondly, to help your parents understand too. Please have a look at this free PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) material. http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=594&srcid=416 The brochures Be Yourself and Our Daughters and Sons (meant for parents but you would benefit from reading from it too) are great. Faith in Our Families is good if you or your parents are struggling with religious beliefs. Thanks again for being here!
Just thought I'd also reiterate the fact that it's great that you've come here to find out more about it, it shows you're open-minded and are up for hearing what there is to be said about being gay. That's all that we can hope for - people like you who care enough to research about it rather than immediately dismiss the person.
