Hi Everyone I recently came out to my parents and unfortunately things have taken a turn for the worst. I never knew they would have reacted like this but it just sucks. Im an international student studying in the USA and they were my primary means of support. My dad called me this morning and told me that Im pretty much on my own unless I change. Is there any where I can get assistance for my situation? Im in my last year of college and am just hopeless now that im going to be able to finish. I can't work anywhere off campus as my visa does not allow. Even if I were to work while being full time it would not cover my tuition and bills (I have alot of debt built up via credit cards). However my primary concern now is being able to get through the month and atleast be able to still eat and pay rent and the basics. He still has not paid my tuition. If anyone can give me advice or links on where I an go to get help it would be great. I just feel very lost as im now on the other side of the world by myself and cannot do a darn thing.
I know that this won't be that helpful , but. Could you at least lie? just for the financial support? Tell your dad that you were "joking" or that it was just a "phase" just until you finish your studies. Then you can finally come out to them for real.
Well he pretty much told me i need to come home if I want them to help me out. I could lie but why do i wnt to be around people like that
You may want to think about enduring (think of it as a strategic delay) all of the unpleasantness for the sake of securing your future. This is no easy choice, but having a decent education may be worth the temporary pain. What happens next, once you have your degree, is that you gain a set of options, and these will include getting the heck out of there to secure decent employment in a place where you can be yourself.
The above. A lot of people soften to their parents and say things like "but I still sort-of like girls/guys". Of tell them it's a phase.. you only have to lie for like the next 9 months, then you're free from everything! In the meantime, could you speak to the university (college or whatever you strange people call it ) counsellor, and explain the situation to them? They should be able to give you advice, or sometimes even pull a few strings for you? Good luck! Parents can be the worst to deal with, but everyone else is here for you
I think you are going to have to do some fast talking, lie your ass off and convince them to pay for you to finish school here. Second option is to lie that you aren't gay and go home to finish your studies, then get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. Third possible option is, depending on where you are from, apply for asylum here in the US. This sounds like a long shot to me but people have done it.
I don't know for certain, but it may be possible to obtain financial support as an international student, so you can complete your studies in the USA. Does your college/uni have any LGBT associations connected to it or do you have a local LGBT advice/resource centre nearby that may be able to help you with this. In the meantime, do you have any friends who might be able to help you out?
I'm sorry that they reacted like that. Could you talk to your school's financial aid office? You don't have to offer specifics, just tell them that your financial situation has changed and you're exploring your options. I don't know how much, if anything, they could do but it's worth a try.
Hi everyone. I am overwhelmed by the responses. Thank you everyone. I have spoken to my financial aid office however they are not sure they can do much more. I already have a 75% scholarship here which takes about $6000 off my tuition. I still owe a rather large amount too. My worry is that I have a lot of unsecured debt (which is silly of me). My plan was to perhaps contact the executive offices of each of the companies I have credit cards or loans with and explain my situation. But im not sure how they will respond to that. I just do not want to ruin my credit or get into a deeper financial trap. It is just unfortunate that because im not a US citizen I am not able to take out student loans (this would help as I could defer them to pay them off after I graduate and have a steady source of income). I am looking around at organizations etc that can help, so will respond here when I get an update. At the moment just am focusing on classes. Another thing I looked at into doing was participating in these medical studies at a local clinic. That could atleast help with bills and paying rent etc. Thanks again guys for the advice.
First of all (*hug*) I know how you feel because I was an international student and I am not a US citizen yet after many years in the US where I call home. Coming out of close is much more complicated when you don't even know if you will be able to stay in the country. Please check this link: Severe Economic Hardship Employment for F-1 Students | International Center | University of Michigan You might get employment authorization. It might give you temporary authorization. If you can justify you can get it but it might take a few months to receive the EAD card. Your international student advisor should know the details. I never used that but I know it is possible. Please make sure when the tuition is due and make sure you are NOT OUT OF STATUS. If that happens it is very hard to get back in f1 status. It is up to you but consider lying to your parents until you graduate. If you graduate and find a job you will be on OPT so you will have more freedom. Then you can decide to tell them truth or not. I really know how you feel and (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Please feel free to ask me any questions you want. I will try my best to help.
