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I feel so preoccupied...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Noratical98, Oct 11, 2015.

  1. Noratical98

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I've recently started college and started going to an LGBT+ group where I once told the people there I am gay and of course nobody batted an eye but unfortunately I can't attend for the full time due to other commitments that I can't shift and so I feel like I'm alienating myself from the only people I could make friends with and talk to about this.
    Recently I think about coming out and relationships all the time and it's so annoying to be distracted like this, I swear it's only because I feel it can't happen.

    I told myself I'd come out at college and I kind of have but there seems to be some kind of mental barrier that stops me sharing with anyone else. I just don't feel confident with my close friends and I don't feel close enough with my friends that I know would be fine about it. I feel like all my friends are a bit superficial in the sense that I don't feel anybody actually knows me.

    I feel so mixed up saying all this, I don't feel like a shy person I don't know why I'm so awkward. I worry sometimes that I'm just making all this up in my head. Maybe I'm just too impatient to move on from this secret. There are so many things I worry I'm going to do or am feeling unnecessarily just because I want to be out completely. I feel I'm wasting time on all these thoughts. I'm starting to feel embarrassed in myself for being so unable to work all this out and just look at it and find the root of my problem. I've never had this feeling before and its just there all the time. I can't believe I actually have tears in my eyes, I don't even feel that unhappy it's just loads of stuff. I really hope it's all real because this would be really embarrassing

    I feel like a real 'user' of this site but I cant even express what I've just typed in my own mind let alone offer another advice. Thanks alot to anyone that has any thoughts, I know I haven't really asked any questions I just needed to unload a bit.