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Best ways to come out as trans?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheEpicPanda, Oct 12, 2015.

  1. TheEpicPanda

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2015
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    Location:
    Connecticut
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi. I am really hoping someone here can give me some tips or something on how to come out as a transgender male? Everyone I know calls me by Mandy, I hate it. I want to be called Alex. And please tell me if I cant post my name. Its only a nickname anyways. I have a lot of issues, whether personal or not, mostly because of my transgender-ness. I dont think thats a word. For example, I get very paranoid and anxious when i use the girls restroom. I need to tell someone, like, about yesterday. Who am i kidding, i needed to tell someone like a year ago! Anyways, any coming out as trans tips, advice, how-to's, anything? Anything will help i think. (!)
     
  2. Linus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
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    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Alex,

    I can understand how your situation is complicated. At my school, they have only recently decided to plan a gender neutral bathroom for trans people to use if they wish. I've grown up my whole life being a girl, and I don't have as much of a problem with bathrooms, simply because I'm used to it. Although, I hate being called a girl.

    I recommend maybe bringing up the topic in conversation. Do you know anyone else who is trans? A celebrity maybe? Or an event that is relevant? You can start the conversation rolling from there.

    Now, who to tell? Are your parents accepting? Siblings? Friends? Maybe that one eccentric uncle? Idk. Find someone who is. Or, make a new friend, someone who isn't as used to calling you Mandy, or associating you as a girl. See if there are alliances for gender dysphoria near you. Most schools have one.

    Hope this helps,
    —Linus
     
    #2 Linus, Oct 12, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2015
  3. TheRealTheaJane

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Brighton, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Make sure you're comfortable! The last thing you want is to be uncomfortable and regret coming out. Also, it's not a requirement, but most cis people who don't understand react more securely if you follow coming out with some sort of manliness, be it dressing more as a guy, or getting a haircut. Otherwise they don't adapt themselves to address you correctly, yet they still know that you're trans. It seems to be a strange human "see to believe" reaction.

    Most importantly is to radiate confidence! You know how it works, acting like you're confident even though you're literally shaking. That way people don't react to it as "just a phase".

    Also, finally, definitely talk to your best friend or friends before your family: they're likely to give you a more positive reaction and if things go badly with your parents you can always talk to them.

    Good luck! =^.^= It's terrifying, but then so are a lot of things; this is just another step to being you! x