I've been wanting to come out to my only gay friend, but I don't think he can keep it to himself. I'm not ready to tell the whole world, but knowing him, knowing how gossipy he is, I don't think he'll be able to help himself. I'm pretty sure he'll text every mutual friend we have, he'll tell people at work, etc. But I want to tell him; I need some gay friends!! Any advice?
If you don't feel right about it, and you think there's a chance you can't trust him, then go with your gut. You don't have to settle and tell him just because he's your only gay friend, because if he tells you'll definitely regret it. Do you have any other close friends you could tell in the meantime? I know it might not be the same if they're straight but at least you can have more people supporting you. I don't know if you are or not, but if you are somewhat acquainted with any other gay people, you could try getting closer to them. Maybe you could even look into some LGBT+ clubs in your area? Or even gay bars if you wanted to, I know that might not be what you're looking for right now but it could help. Hope this helps and good luck!
Unfortunately, the pickings are slim here. There aren't any LGBT groups here, nor are there any gay bars. Even my gay friend lives eight hours away. It's just awfully lonely.
Well, you can share with all of us here on EC! I am curious, do others know that your friend is gay? And if so, how did they find out? How did you find out he was gay? As well, is there any chance your friend might suspect your gay anyway, without you having told him? And, how close of a friend is he? Have you previously told him secrets which he went on to tell others?
I found out that he's gay because he told me over lunch one day a couple of years ago. He's out, so he's telling everyone. It was kind of funny; the moment he told me he was gay, I needed to say something in response, so I almost said, "Well, you know, that's great, because I'm gay, too." The words were in my mouth, but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I'm pretty sure he suspects I'm gay; I've been asking him lots of questions about his life as an openly gay man. I suspect most straight men wouldn't be so curious. And yes, I do know of him keeping at least one secret, about a mutual friend's indiscretions. So I guess he could be a good person to open up to...
Most people I knew that are gay appreciate the sensitivity around other need for discretion if they are not broadly out. Now, will they like to gossip the first time you talk about a hot guy.......hmmmm
