So I kinda gave an abbreviated version of my back story earlier on the "LGBT Later In Life" Forum under the thread of "Getting This Off My Chest". If you get a chance, please read it there and definitely leave a message if you care to do so. I'm always looking for more input. But, I must say this entire website has really given me some great advice and insight through many other posts as well. So much so, I really feel like I'm beginning to get up the courage to come out to my wife about wanting to begin my new life. One of the many things I have learned in the very short time on this website is that there is still a lot to figure out about myself, my family and community. So, when I do finally come out to my wife, is it unrealistic to approach it as: "Let's kinda feel this out together. No need to make any decisions right away, as this self discovery/journey is going to take a while. I'm not ready to come out to the world yet and probably won't be for quite sometime. So let's take that time together to realize what each of us want and how we can gradually move in the direction that our relationship is headed." I kinda feel like I've been in this battle in my head forever, and this will give her, and us, a chance to catch up to what I've been feeling inside all this time. A lot of the advise/stories that I have received on the other forum seem to be a little more realistic. Meaning this isn't going to end well for our relationship. And I can totally understand that as well. I know this isn't fair to her. And quite honestly, I don't expect that we will be together forever anymore. That ship has sailed A LONG time ago. But that is not because of my gender issues. That's a whole other thread in an entirely different forum. But in my highly unrealistic dream, we can remain friends and work together on this. Basically that's all we are right now is just friends. (For those that haven't read the other forum/thread mentioned above, we have zero intimacy in our relationship. Barely even a kiss. And haven't for quite sometime now.) I doubt this will happen, but there maybe a chance that transitioning may not be right for me. If that were to be the case, however, I would love to think we could move on together. I guess I'm typing this out because I'm tired of playing out all the different scenarios in my head and in my mirror. Maybe I figure if one person sees this playing out this way as a valid possibility, I may be able to keep a little hope alive that my wife will see thing the same way as well. So false hope & expectations, or just the ramblings of a stressed and struggling soul?
