Ok, I am sure like everyone else, I am experience a type of depression. I am not sure with what, maybe the stress, new diet or dealing with my sexual orientation. I should explain and thanks in advance for listening. Ok after a LONG while of fighting with myself whether I was gay or not, I decided to try out these feelings for men. I cam out to my best friend, talked close ones and my friend was really accepting of it. My close ones, not as much they think that I just get caught up in what people think of me or that I hang (or rather hung) out with my lesbian friend. I thought well maybe, I did grow up without a father, was teased and called bad names including the derogatory ones. The thing is that this feeling keeps coming back but rather I am beginning to feel numb to it. Rather to all love, romantic at least. I have no aspirations for dating or meeting people and for the physical as well. I just feel numb. Ok had to vent that thanks guys and gals.
I've noticed two things about many straight people when you come out to them. First off, they look for evidence. "See, I KNEW you were gay because you talk that way/move that way/listen to this music/whatever." It's almost always evidence AFTER the fact, though - beforehand, it was just a qurik. Secondly, and a bit less commonly, they look for reasons. "See, you're gay because your father was distant/you got teased/your mother was overbearing/you hung out with Steve." You're gay (or bi) because you like guys. That's all. Your father, mother, bullies and Steve had nothing to do with it. That said, your numbness is probably something that should be addressed. You might want to look into seeing a therapist for a couple of sessions, just to see what he might say. Lex
yeah ._. one of the worst reaction one can get is that they ask you why are you the way you are (i had that D: was horrible... fo some reason xD) and as far of the numbness o_o umm maybe you havent met the right person? or something like that xD
(*hug*) You might want to remember that a lot of people question their sexual orientation and realise they are gay or bi, but they don't have a lesbian friend / did grow up with a father / weren't called names. Do you see? So just because those things happened to you does not mean they have caused those feelings. On feeling numb, I know that feeling a bit. Try and fight against it. Ask your supportive best friend for help, hang around with him/her more - don't hang around with those 'friends' who make you feel wierd or who judge you. Are there other causes that you can see to your feeling of numbness, other than what you've already said?
About the numbness, I used to feel that as well. I am on Zoloft, and while it isn't a wonder cure for depression, it makes things a lot easier. I would suggest looking into it. And when people ask me why I am gay, I just ask them why they are straight and they usually get it.
I have done that too. Oh, and I think that you should see a therapist about the numbness. It will help. Basically, you feel numb, and you dont know why, but a therapist will take all of the stuff in your life and put it in to a big picture to help you understand why you feel numb. And then you can work at fixing it.
Thanks for the posts. I am beginning to see why I am feeling the way I feel. Perhaps I should see someone to sort out all these feelings.It is just a bit sad, this is something I really wanted to sort through myself :\
