Hello! So, last year I came out to my best friend (and another friend) as gay. Then a few days later I took it back, not because I was scared, or because she reacted badly, but because I genuinely wasn't sure I was gay. Now I'm decently sure, but I'm not really sweating labels. Now I kind of want to come out (again) to her, and possibly my family. I'm not really worried about reactions (both friends' reactions last year can be boiled down to "Yeah, that makes sense." I honestly wouldn't be surprised if there were bets going on in my family), but I'm kind of worried this will make it seem as though I'm just doing this for attention or something. I've never dated a girl (or anyone, for that matter), so I don't have any "proof" that I'm a lesbian. She has lesbian/gay/queer friends, so I think she would believe me... but I'm just really nervous, because this is one of the most important relationships in my life, and has been since I was four years old. Does anyone else have any experience with this? Or advice on how to do it? Preemptive thanks!
Well I have a comparable, albeit very different experience--the first person I came out to as transgender was my friend Kim--when I first told her about it though I was very nervous, and didn't really stick to my guns or anything--Kim is very accepting so that wasn't the issue, but Kim IS genderfluid (and a lesbian) so her mind went to genderfluid instead of transgender. Because I was nervous I basically went along with this for the time being--about 2 months later I tried to tell her I was trans, but because she had the other in her head already it took like another month for it to click with her--but when it did she was more supportive and accepting that I could have hoped for-- So that was basically all about me, but I needed to tell you so you understand my advice--I expect your friend won't be mad, and she will believe you, but she may have trouble comprehending after the first coming out/reversal/ But if you stick to your guns, and keep reiterating that you are homosexual, it should register with her mind eventually. Of course she may have forgotten the whole first incident. In any case, just go ahead and tell her. If she really is your friend (and I know she is) I am sure everything will be fine. I hope that this helps you! Good luck!
