I've been dating a guy for a couple months now and I've been gradually telling more and more people. Sometimes I feel good and energized, but other times, like now, I feel completely depleted and overwhelmed. I don't know if it's just the hardships of coming out, or maybe there's something off in my relationship with this guy, or both. Obviously because I'm 32 and waited this long to finally date the same sex and allow myself to do this I know it's not going to be easy, but I feel like it's taking over my life and my work is suffering and it's the worst possible time for this to be happening because I'm graduating from graduate school and I need to find a job :help: Any showing of support would be much appreciated, no matter how small :icon_sad:
Take a deep breath it is ok you are gonna get throught this I would recommend taking so time to yourself with your new realationship and coming out to mulitpul people that is a big deal and it is a lot to deal with as you get used to being out you will adventually feel more relaxed if you think something is wrong in your relationship there probably is so go with your gut and don't forget to take a nice long bath every once in a while
Mate, I went through a very similar situation only about 2 years ago. I was in a horrible place in my life when I started coming out. As someone who only kind of "discovered" they were gay and started coming out later in life, I get what you;re going through. It's very hard to erase the pretense of you "being straight" for so many years. You can have wipe out a lot of perceptions of yourself, as well as plunge head first into coming out and facing possible rejection from people you've spent time with for so many years. I don't really have time to talk this second, but if you want to chat feel free to write on my wall and we can talk more.
Hi there!(*hug*) Feeling a little overwhelmed at times while you are coming out and trying to work on your (presumably) first same-sex relationship is unfortunately something that can't be avoided. Not being fully out, and trying to date, and being yourself can create additional stresses that will make themselves known in different ways. Being in a relationship or trying to make something work, can take a lot of energy too. One thing you could try doing is taking it one day at a time. Plan for one day or two the most ahead. Whenever things become overwhelming, slow down, take a deep breath. Adding to how you are feeling at times is of course the realisation that you are graduating and will need to start looking for work. Job searching in itself can be stressful. However there are strategies that you can use to make it easier on yourself. To make sure that your job search does not become overwhelming, or add more stress to what you are already experiencing, set yourself realistic daily goals. Your goals can include search for jobs in your field, contacting potential employers and asking if they would like to meet with you to speak about potential career entry points or for you to learn more about a potential employer, and working on job applications. Try to create a list of the employers you would like to work for. Read through company/organisations' websites to get a feel for the different organisations/companies. Ask yourself, "can I see myself working there?" "Do they offer something that will allow me to start working towards a career goal?" Once you have done that, then decide if there are a few that you could contact to introduce yourself. You could also think about some potential volunteer opportunities (if it is applicable to your field). Another goal could be making it a point of going to the job search/employment centre on a very regular basis, and looking at the job postings and talking to people there, or receiving some support with your job search. If you don't have one yet, create a LinkedIn account, and make sure that the profile speaks to the positions/opportunities you would like to apply to. A lot of employers go through LinkedIn to find their next employees. Head-hunters or recruiters also visit the site quite often. Aside from setting yourself job search goals, try to have lots of breaks in between your job search activities. Make it a point to meet with friends and your boyfriend. Do some fun activities where you can relax and not think about your job search. If you don't mind me asking, in which field is your graduate work in? Do you already know what career you would like to pursue or the field you would like to work in? In what kind of jobs are you interested in?
Thank you all for the support. I am just finishing my PhD and I'm trying to break into academia but academic positions are hard to come by. I like the idea of taking things one day at a time. Thanks again.
