Hey everyone! I hope this is in the right category. I'm in a little conundrum. I'm a (??) girl who is currently dating a lesbian girl. We've only been dating for about a month but I feel the need to tell her that she is the first girl who I've ever dated or done anything else at all with really. First of all, do you think that this is something I should tell her in the first place? I'm a little afraid that if I tell her she might ask why I felt the need to tell her that, but I just want to be honest. Do you think that she would want to know? Second of all, if I should tell her, how should I tell her? I was thinking I would just be like "well, there's something I have to tell you...you're the first girl I've ever done anything with" and go from there. I'm not sure how to go about telling her. I don't want her to get mad but I'd rather her know about this before things go further so that she doesn't think I'm hiding anything from her. I would really really appreciate any and all opinions about this!! I really like her and I don't want to mess things up. Thanks
I don't think she'd get mad at all. It seems like you won't feel better about it until you tell her and it's important to you, so I think you should. If you guys are talking or alone, you could just kind of casually say "There's something I want to make sure you know because I want to be honest with you. It's just that you're the only girl I've ever dated." or something along those lines. Don't be afraid to bring it up like that because it's important that you communicate about that. If you think she'd be upset that you're "not ready" then just be honest with her. I mean, you don't have anything to prove because you like her and that's all there is to it and you can reassure her of that and explain to her that you really like her and are ready for a relationship, you just felt weird with her not knowing that. If you think she'd think it's weird you brought it up, just be honest. You can tell her you know you want to be with her and you like her, you just were worried it was something she should know. And don't be afraid to say "I was just worried about this and I thought I should tell you" or something because she'll probably just appreciate the honesty and obviously you like her, which you can tell her so there's really nothing wrong with it. Honestly, she may even think it's kind of cute you were worried about it (not that you shouldn't worry about it because if you need to get that off your chest you should). So you probably don't have anything to worry about, but communication always helps and if you're worried about something you should definitely say it rather than keeping it bottled up inside and always worrying about it.
if i was u i would tell her, just think she was once in the same shoes as you. I cant see why she would mind and in fact she might just have a very possitive reaction for this. this way you can both go forward together and the realtionship will be stronger for this i would say
I didn't come out and start dating until I was 26, and had previously had a girlfriend. I was up front about that with my bf from the beginning. It was a much bigger deal to me in my head than it was to him. I think you should probably tell her at some point since it's good for people who are dating to be able to share things like that, but I don't think you should tell her as if you're about to confess some horrible secret or anything like that because it really isn't.
Thank you for all the advice! It comforted me - maybe I'm making this into a bigger deal than it really is. I'm also afraid that she'll think I'm just experimenting with her or something and that I don't actually like her, which isn't true whatsoever, so I could also tell her that.
there's nothing wrong in telling her every gay person has their first gf\bf after coming out.in fact she might thrilled to know that she's your first
Seems like a good idea to tell her but it shouldn't be a big deal I would hope. She's dating you because she likes you not because of your experience level.
Yeah I agree with the others you should definitely tell her, it doesn't have to be a big deal but I think it's important to be pipe and honest with each other.
