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I'm a lesbian in love with a girl who's not sure if she's straight or what

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Harpyia, Oct 26, 2015.

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  1. Harpyia

    Harpyia
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    So I have this friend who I really like. BUT I'm not sure (she's not sure) if she's bisexual or straight. She says she finds girls attractive but she's not sure if it goes deeper. Spending time with her, studying with her, or even just sitting beside her makes me happy. BUT I want it to be something more. I feel jealous when a guy flirts with her. I want to call her my girlfriend. I want to make her smile. I want to go on dates with her. I want to kiss her, buy her roses and chocolates. BUT I'm scared. I don't want to risk our friendship. I'm so sorry. I'm at lost here. :icon_sad:
    Thank you very much.
     
    #1 Harpyia, Oct 26, 2015
  2. Lunarchy

    Lunarchy
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    This is definitely one of the hardest parts of being gay, and truth be told, it's really up to you to make the decision on whether to act, or whether to play it safe. Just remember that it doesn't have to be an ultimatum, there is no rule that states you have to come out and say "Love me or leave me."

    How I would approach this situation, is I'd ask her out. Don't come all of the way out and confess your love for her, but tell her that you could see yourself with her, and see if she feels the same.
     
    #2 Lunarchy, Oct 26, 2015
  3. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Just for a bit more background, does she know you like her? Have you spoken about it before?
     
    #3 silverhalo, Oct 26, 2015
  4. Harpyia

    Harpyia
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    Hi silverhalo. No, she doesn't. I told her I like another girl though. Thank you :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 27th Oct 2015 at 06:44 PM ----------

    I forgot to mention this but she already knows that I'm a lesbian (and I told her I like another girl). I haven't confessed that she's really the one I like. When I asked her if she's bisexual (because she comments a lot about how beautiful some girls are and how they make her feel "lesbian") but she told me she's not sure.
    It's really hard huh :frowning2:

    Thank you :slight_smile: I guess I would have to test the waters first, huh.
     
    #4 Harpyia, Oct 27, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2015
  5. Distant Echo

    Distant Echo
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    Suggest going out to a movie or whatever the equivalent of a drink is. Somewhere that isn't too "datey" so you can get to know each other
     
    #5 Distant Echo, Oct 27, 2015
  6. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    I agree just spend time with her and see how things progress. There isn't really much you can do. She will either decide she likes girls or she doesn't and you can't really influence that apart from to be there if she wants to talk.
     
    #6 silverhalo, Oct 27, 2015
  7. Harpyia

    Harpyia
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    Thank you inamirrordarkly and silverhalo :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Harpyia, Oct 28, 2015
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