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self-involved rant

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Agerardii, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. Agerardii

    Regular Member

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    I'm kind of desperate for some human interaction right now, even if it is over the internet. I don't really have any specific questions (this is why I haven't posted in so long) I just want to say this to someone. I've only come out to my sister and my now-ex-girlfriend (and the five or so mutual friends that she has told). I thought I would be happier or more able to be myself or something after having accepted my sexual orientation, but so far that hasn't been the case. I just feel more alone now. Maybe it will get better, I don't know, right now I just feel more closeted than ever. I've been distancing myself from people, sort of stuck in between wanting everyone to know so I can find people to date and wanting to keep it to myself. I'm afraid that if I do find someone to date I won't be confident enough to bring him to my house with my roommates there or tell my friends that I'm dating a guy. I'm just not a confident person and I hate confrontation and talking about myself - things that would be required of me by my friends if I suddenly started dating men. All this is starting to make me regret breaking up with my girlfriend. I think that feeling will go away if I can start meeting guys. I don't know how to go about that though. How I ever managed to get a girlfriend in the first place is beyond me, finding a boyfriend is going to be so much harder. I don't know, thanks for reading...
     
  2. ALongWalk

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Ive had the same problem for years, being really lonely
    I havnt solved that part yet but i have found some stuff i can love, like sports. I personally love capoeira. Im not the best, nor do I have the musical talent for alot of things in it but i interact with other capoeiristas and form connections with them. its not my only hobby though
    so what Im trying to say is find something you like, and if you cant or youve tried then you need to branch out further or find an aspect of what youve tried that you really enjoy, for you it seems interaction is key. Try a gay support group, I know some cities have those
    It seems to me that you worry too much about what everyone thinks and you regret facing your sexuality. I say dont, because things get bad before they get better
    let me know if you want to talk
     
  3. boredofnormal

    Full Member

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    You definitely need some kind of interaction, that is for sure.
    A forum like this is a good start, but having real people is great. When I first came out a few months ago, I started attending a gay mens discussion group. Not really a support group per se, but the guys discuss whatever (here in california, it was mostly about Prop 8). The great thing is that they just accepted me as gay. There was no stress, no coming out, no justifying, nothing...just me, being me with a bunch of other gay guys. Its been great. I go every week, no matter what. I highly recommend it if you're near a city that has something available.
    Tim
     
  4. Greggers

    Full Member

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    I feel the saaaame way. EC was great at first, i felt alot better being able to talk to people and everything, but now im wanting real interaction. Ive been looking for a group or something i can join but so far i have failed. I really want to meet other gay people in my area face-to-face because ive NEVER met a gay person in real life before. The closest i have come is twice on an MMORPG i play someone has asked me if im gay without telling them, and then they told me they were gay. That was a great experience too, but all this online interaction fails in comparison to real life.

    Like Tim said, if you have some kind of support group or such in your area that will be an amazing thing to go to. Sadly, i cant. The university has one, but its when im in class or not even at school (long drive to my school, going on days without class is hard)