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i don't know if my sister will believe i am gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ruby421, Oct 26, 2015.

  1. ruby421

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    ok so i am only 14 and i have no plan on coming out anytime soon, i am still in Narnia...that is how far in the closet i am, but i was talking to my sister, who is very straight, but there is a few people that she talks all lesbian for and i made a joke that she was bi, and she said "i thought i was when i was a teenager but i like guys *shrugs* "

    so i am worried she will think everything is just a phase since it was a phase for her :frowning2: and now i feel so much more stressed :help:

    also growing up we did a lot of boy talk...even though i never really felt that way, so i am not sure how to explain all that to her :eusa_liar
     
  2. Im Hazel

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    Direct homophobia among younger people is pretty rare these days. I'm sure she will be fine. ^^

    There's no real way to persuade someone of this, short of kissing a girl in front of them. Just tell her, and if she pulls the "just a phase" card, tell her that she is being mean, and that it's not a phase. Tell her you expect more support from a sister. Then when you feel the same way in 20 years, you can laugh at her with your wife. (*hug*)


    Tell her the truth, whatever that may be. Did you do it to fit in? Or for fun? Sometimes telling the truth never occurs to you.
     
  3. ruby421

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    i mainly did it cause i knew that was "normal" but it was fun to girl talk with her, you know?
    and she is very nice and supportive, i just worry what she will think :/
     
  4. Majush93

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    hello :slight_smile:

    It doesn´t matter what your sister or anyone really thinks...only you know your sexual orientation and no one can know better :wink:

    and about the "phase"...there are people who know from the start that they are gay/bi/pan etc but there are also people who are not so sure...even me, I realized that I may also like girls for the first time when I was about 15 years old but I refuse it because I was hetero right? I was raised like one at least and I stop thinking about it. Then when I was 21 I fully accepted fact that I´m bi, basically I just finally admited it to myself :slight_smile:

    My point is that for some, it´s not so sudden but it´s a long process and you don´t even have to put labels on you during this process (it´s completly okay when you choose a label but you don´t have to). Yes, you are younger but if you feel that way then it´s true. Only you have the right to choose your sexuality, no one can tell you that you are something else :wink:

    And about telling your sister, first of all you have to answer the question if you want to come oiut to her and if you trust her (think that she will be supportive) :wink: if she starts doupting you try explain her why you did the "boys talk" with her, that you wanted to fit in, that you didn´t want anyone know yet :wink: I think she should understand :slight_smile:

    Anyway, good luck! And have a amazing day :wink:
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    When you come out to her, what do you think she will say? What questions might she ask? If you think about those questions now, you can mentally prepare your answers and that will make a big difference. If you can respond calmly and with confidence it will demonstrate that you have really thought it through and it's not a phase at all.

    When we come out to someone it's inevitable that they will ask questions and there is nothing worse than being taken by surprise and finding it difficult to answer - it can actually be upsetting and make us feel wrong-footed by them, provoking us to anger. I'm sure you don't want that, so have a good think about all of the questions she might put to you and work out your answers now. It will make a difference.
     
  6. ruby421

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    thank you all for your advice :slight_smile: and i have started thinking about some of the questions she will ask and i have answers for most, but i am still not ready, i know that, but i hope i can be fully prepared when the time is right,

    i do think she will be supportive but i am not sure how much she is going to understand, so i will just mentally prepare myself a lot, figure out how to explain it all to her..maybe i will make a video or write a letter, or just wait till we are alone and i can tell her in privacy.

    that is another thing, i don't have a lot of privacy, the house we live in is small so i worry about being over heard, thank you all though :grin: