I'm just going to say it plain. I'm gay, and 14. I've been dealing with realizing I'm gay for at least 2 years, was pretty much in denial for half of it. It hit me like a car, I had always assumed and felt I was straight (Nope. Plain and simple). It caused tons of depression and deep guilt. I was essentially homophobic before puberty. With good reason, my conservative parents. I'm still dealing with depression, there's multiple reasons why, but I don't want to get all melodramatic and talk about it. Fact of the matter is, being closeted like this -especially with conservative parents- is a huge contributor. I haven't told anyone. I just need help coming out. I'm just irrationally afraid of coming out to my parents. I'm also very socially awkward and I'm scared I'll make a mistake or not communicate correctly. So, I suppose I'll talk about my parents. Both of my parents strongly believe homosexuality is a choice and is immoral. My dad is very repelled and aggressive, often hateful, when it comes to gay people. My mom on the other hand, expresses that it's not their right to be mean or hateful towards homosexuals. But that doesn't stop her from equating homosexuality to bestiality, pedophilia, or what have you. My mom has very high moral standards for me, I can't say "Jesus" in a derogatory way or that something "sucks", for example. She's prone to freak out and lectures me if I were to say, watch a video with a swear word or sexual innuendo (etc.). Just every comment my parents make about gays and how they're "so wrong" wears my happiness down a little more each time. One particularly depressing comment made by my dad when my mom was talking about someone committing suicide was: "Why did he commit suicide? Was he gay?" I'm terribly anxious of how my parents will react. But looking at my situation, now that I've typed it down, Makes me feel I have it better than a lot of people. I feel a lot more confident just from typing this out. I'm just rambling at this point, I just wanted to get this off my chest, it's 5 AM and I couldn't go to sleep the whole night. Give me some advice guys?
Hi EndlessDreams! As for coming out to your parents, you don't have to say it to their faces, have you thought about writing a letter or email to them? I've already written a letter to my parents for when I come out to them, because (like you) I am socially awkward and I probably will say the wrong things. It may be hard to believe, but your parents might have a different opinion when you come out to them, because you are their own child. Maybe they don't know much about LGBT+? In my case, my mum wasn't very fond of Caitlyn Jenner when she came out as a transgender woman, but when I explained to her everything, she likes her now. It's amazing how differently they can react once you explain it to them thoroughly. Only come out when you know it's safe to and don't feel as if you are forced to. If you don't feel safe doing it, then maybe just hold back from doing it? It's horrible thinking that someone who comes out could be so loved in their family, next minute they say that their gay and they're kicked out of their house. I wish you all the best and I hope your parents will understand soon. Good luck
