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I didnt do it - I hate myself for that.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MayaBee, Oct 29, 2015.

  1. MayaBee

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    Two days ago I wrote about how I want to come out and how I would tell my best friend. I was so sure about doing it and really really was ready for it. But then, when we sat together and were casually talking - I just couldnt do it. I dont know why. Something inside me screamed and wanted to shout out "I am not straight!", but on the outside I was quiet and staring holes into the air. That basically went on for the past days. On the outside, I am like always, making some jokes and casually talking - but inside of me, there is so much happening. It's like a little monster inside me, except that its not bad, and it really wants to come out and show itself to people, but at the same time, its afraid that it wont be accepted and that it could ruin everything.

    I hate myself for being such a wimp. I mean, I have done things for which I had to be really brave, but then, I cant even say those 4 little words "I am not straight". I hate it.
     
  2. Zen fix

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    This is a scary thing to say. I think I had 4 or 5 attempts to tell my wife before I could do it. This is where a therapist can be very helpful.
     
  3. Secrets5

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    Do you like drawing or reading books?

    Maybe you could draw respectful images or find a book with the sexuality you are and then leave it lying around for them to see?
     
  4. Distant Echo

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    Its alright. It's scary. I haven't told my kids, and I have no idea when I will.

    You'll know when the time is right
     
  5. ResidentTheatreKid

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    I went through this a year ago, and honestly, it'll go a lot better than you think. Maybe you could bring up an LGBT topic and discuss it, but if you know your friend is supportive of LGBT+ people, you don't need to worry. I promise you, it will be so liberating.

    I actually came out amongst a load of banter I think. In fact, my friends thought I was joking and I had to re-come out the next day XD

    I'm here to talk if you want to :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 29th Oct 2015 at 10:12 PM ----------

    Oh, and you're not a wimp, I promise. Sometimes being brave isn't the best thing. I wish wasn't brave when I decided to come out to my mum, because then I would have spared myself 4 months of literally wishing I had the guts to kill myself.

    Sometimes the time isn't right. But you know what? If your friend doesn't accept you, or doesn't want to accept you, you deserve a better friend.

    The first time you come out will always be the hardest. It gets better, I promise!
     
  6. gmoby13

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    I know it can be really hard to come out sometimes. What I would suggest (And what I did myself) is plan a time to meet up with your friend, make sure you will be only around supportive people, and just make yourself say something like, "I have something to tell you thats been bugging me, I'm gay." Just get it out there. And just know that if this friend is the supportive person they should be, it won't change anything. And if they are not okay with it, than maybe you shouldn't be friends with them. And most of all JUST DO IT. :icon_bigg
     
  7. wolfy1

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    I know what you mean, that screaming in your head to just say it, but you feel unable to. ive been doing this for the past year, and its hard and really frustrating. i always try and rationalize why i dident say it by telling my self that it just was not the right moment, or the right setting or w/e... the truth is, there is no perfect moment. you just have to take a deep breath and say it.

    For me, its been a year since ive came out to my self, sadly no one else. ive become fairly conferrable with my sexuality, i dont really question so much anymore, and dont hide it... although im not actually saying anything. i like to think of it as laying out a trail of clues and letting people pick them up and come to a conclusion them self... i think it will be easier when i finally say the "Im Gay" words to them. maybe you can try that?

    Just remember, your 15 dont stress too much over it, you have lots of time =). in the end, if your friend doesn't accept you because you like girls then their not worth your time. true friends stick by your side and are accepting of you. they love you for you, no mater if your gay, bi or w/e..

    i have a tip to wrap this up. remember how i said i leave clues about my sexuality. well because i do that, on 4-5 occasions ive been pulled aside and asked if i was gay. sadly for me i was not conferrable answering that at the time of being asked, i ether was still hiding from it, or trying to figure it all out in my head. but for you, because your having a hard time bringing up the subject, try leaving the clues around and when you have a friend ask you, maybe it will be easier to talk about it. if its not, then no harm no foul =).