Hey , I'm not very good at writing things like this but have being feeling so alone past few months. I currently have a bf within the past few years I love him and honestly is a very genuine guy. But the past couple of months I have been questioning myself constantly I feel deep down that I could be gay. Ever since a young age I was never really a girly girl never really played with dolls very much and more or less would have been known as a Tom boy. I haven't talked to anyone about this because I'm afraid incase I would be treated differently I have been reading many posts and they say tell a friend. Honestly over the past year I think I'm only kind of accepting it myself that I am but I really don't want to be dragging him around anymore I tried so much to love him that way but the past few weeks I just don't have any interest. I don't find him that attractive as to what I did years ago but I think I am just keeping myself in a safe place to not be judged by people. I know that I need to get out of the relationship but there are things that are in the way that is preventing me from telling him because I feel as if I can't tell him the real reason why I want to end the relationship because I know that I will have to come out then to friends and family but I want to be able to make sure it's the right decision. I see him more as a friend atm then a bf. Once before I have kissed a girl and just seemed right and find myself attracted to girls way more than when I look at guys. I know my family would be supportive but comment like I can't wait to be a grandparent I just think to myself why couldn't I just be able to live a life like that. I know the longer I keep it in I hurt my bf more and it's the right thing to tell him but I'm just so confused to what to say because it is probably the hardest thing I have had to do. I'm also just completely afraid that I will be treated differently. I am 21 and have been with him a few years and people are just going to be in shock to how was I actually gay when I have been with a guy. I completely understand when coming out you need give people time to adjust it just has me completely feeling alone as I haven't talking to anyone about it. Has anyone else been in this sort of situation?
Whether or not you are a lesbian you shouldn't be with somebody who you don't care for in that way. A lot of relationships that start out young end because one of the people falls out of love it is totally natural and not exclusive to people who realize they are a different sexuality then they believed. My point is that yes, you're right, the right thing is to tell him the truth. That you just don't love him in that way anymore and you don't want to keep dragging him along but you don't have to come out to him to do the right thing. I'm all for full on honesty all the time but as you said, you are only kind of accepting it yourself and you shouldn't be worrying about telling anyone else about your sexuality until you're sure what it is. Unless of course you would feel comfortable telling somebody that you are unsure and discussing it with them, it is always good to have someone to talk to but not if you think it is only going to make you more uncomfortable.
