I want to come out. I want to let people know I like girls. I am almost ready to come out. I am thinking about writing a note/letter to my 2 good friends. Can I have some help in what to say in it? Also my other problem is... If I come out my parents are going to find out eventually. I dont want to come out. I want to be straight. I cant like girls. My parents will hate me. My older sister is bi. If they find out I am/might be then I will feel like a mess up. I am scared to give my friends the note because after I do my life will be planned out for me. I feel like I will never be able to go back. I will have to deal with my parents in the future. I cant come out. I need to be straight. And another thing... I am thinking about talking to my health teacher about it. I have sex ed now and she is a nice teacher. But the only thing that is talk about in the class is about boy/girl relationships. I wish a GLBT subject will come up but it probably wont. I kinda want to talk to the teacher but I have no idea where to start.
First of all, you needn't feel pressured to come out, but you say you feel like you're ready, but you're not for your parents, maybe you should wait a bit. However, I'm sure if you want to tell your friends, they can keep a secret. Your letter doesn't need to be long nor formal, it just needs to come from you. A couple of things you probably need to say are- you've not changed from, say, last week; you don't want them to treat you any differently; and you want to just be honest with them and can trust them because their you're friends. Like I said before, considering that you're not ready for your parents to know, it might also be a good idea to ask them not to tell anyone. They're your mates, they can keep a secret right? You can control this, your life shouldn't just play-out without you. You should never feel like a failure to your parents, NEVER! I'm sure you've made them so proud with everything you do and they love you to bits. You should never feel like a failure to them; you are who you are and nothing with change that, you should be proud! You don't need to tell them yet, there's no pressure and it's not a race. Though it would be good to know how they took your sister; do they accept her? It might be a good idea to talk to your heath teacher, perhaps you can ask "Is there a GLBT section in our course?" That way you can show interest without it getting too personal, say if you asked, "Can we talk about GLBT relationships? I really need some advice..." If they question you, (which I doubt they will, since they'd get the jist you want it), just shrug and say, "I donno, I just think it'll be good for the class if we learnt about it..." Good luck with your letter, why not put it up on here so we can read it?
I want to come out. I am sick of lying to everyone about how I want a boyfriend. Well I still kinda do but I want a girlfriend more. My friends definitely wont tell anyone. They accept my sister cause they have to. She is their daughter so they have to. My mom wasnt happy about it. My dad ignores it I guess. She has a boyfriend now so I guess they think it was probably a phase. Health class is going to be over in 2 weeks and I dont think we will be discussing GLBT things. I hate it. I feel so left out in that class. Ill post my letter when I write it. I hate writing. Im still so confused what to put in it. And then they are going to want to talk after.
If you want to come out, then you'll have to face your parents eventually. When your sister came out did she give them any information about differences in sexual orientation? Resources such as PFLAG might be good for them to read, especially if both of their daughters are non-straight. My health class has a box where epople can put anonynmous questions. Does yours have one of these? If not, could you write the teacher a note and leave it for them asking them to discuss this? We'll help you with your letter if you want. However, I think it'll be great as long as you speak from your heart. And, they probably will want to talk. But, you can do it! (*hug*)
So should I never come out and pretend I am happy with a guy? My parents or at least my mom knows a lot about sexual orientation because of my sister. But they still dont think its "right". My sister was even on a tv show about it. My health class doesn't have a box. I wish it did. Can I have help writing the letter. I dont even know where to begin.
Idk what to say, i guess just not talk about sexuality with your parents and they won't find out. If you friends are trustworthy then i would just try to tell them in person assuming they will take it well. I don't know how to write a letter, i honestly never thought of it as a coming out option til this site hahaha. and health class? i guess if you like the teacher as her/him about it after class.
I wrote a tread about coming out to my parents. In it has my coming out letter. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19150
Okay. Do you know anything that you want to say in the letter (besides your orientation)? possible things to add: -how long you've felt this way -"how" you know -whether you want them to say anything to anyone -why you decided to tell them -reassurance that you are the same person
I dont really know how I know... Ughh maybe I dont want to come out. But I really want someone to talk to about it.
You can say that as well. Saying you're not sure how, or that you're confused or even just questioning is a valid thing to say. (*hug*) And, as thebikelady said, you can talk here if you don't feel comfortable coming out. But, why don't you draft a letter and then if you decide not to send it, then that's okay.
My advice is to think twice before writting a note. Rembember that written stuff, stays forever and who knows in hands of who. We are constantly changing, and what you write in a note today, might be different on what you would write or say tomorrow or in a year. In my case, I have a box of old pictures and notes from my friends at highschool. Most people do. Your note could stay in that box in someone's house forever. My advice, is talking to your friend. Tell her what you feel, but verbaly. Also, it will be more relieving for you since probably you will here what she thinks about. Writting a note also seems to me like writting a confession of something bad you did. Remember, you did nothing bad. Its your life, your story, your sexual orientation. The only reason you have to tell, is because you feel like it, if thats the case, tell your friend, directly. Remember its nothing terrible.
