I'm currently trying to come out to my mum, but every time I get close to it I just feel sick. I've no idea how she'll react. She's become much more open minded in recent years but I have clear memories of her once stating to my sisters and I that if we were gay she'd disown us. Her views have changed since then but I'm terrified. Coming out to anyone-because it never stops, does it, there's always people who don't know-but my mum...she's important. My sisters know but they are bi and gay themselves so it didn't really matter. Not that my mum knows about them either. She thinks I'm dating a guy. Granted, so did I at first, she's trans and only came out to me a few months ago. But after today I won't see my mum til Christmas. I feel like I should tell her but I'm so scared. I have to tell her at some point. But just thinking about it makes me feel sick. Sorry. Just, ifanyone has any advice? I would bereally grateful
Hello, Perhaps you could bring your girlfriend around so then she knows you date women as well as men. That way the conversation of sexuality doesn't come up, but the person you are dating. Perhaps if she says ''I thought you were dating a guy'' then tell her the truth [with your girlfriends permission] ''I was, but he's transgender so she's my girlfriend'' [or something like that]. Maybe you could put it on your Christmas list that you want ''my family/friends, especially from Mum, to accept me as bisexual''. Or you could watch a show that shows [but not necessarily limited to] bisexuality and then see her opinions on those people. The one I can think of is GLEE, but there might be others if show-choir group shows aren't what you like.
Thanks. I didn't actually come out, despite trying, but I did take your advice and broach the subject. I brought up my cousin. My mum actually mentioned the fact that my cousin is gay first, which let me ask how my aunt and uncle had reacted, 'considering he's a minister it must have been terrifying for her'. Apparently my mum doesn't even know if my aunt is even in contact with my cousin-but, she said she couldn't imagine that and would never. So I guess when I do tell her, at least she won't sever all ties? I don't know. Why does coming out have to be so scary?
Hi, WardenTabris. I am somewhat in the same situation as you. My family is fairly religious and gives mixed signals about their feelings of homosexuality. I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now and am finally getting the courage to approach the idea of telling my parents. I too live away from my parents and probably won't see them till the holidays. Since I am terrible with expressing my feelings and succumbing to nervousness, I've decided to take a week or two and write a coming out letter. I will probably end up writing all of it into a text message and sending it when I know my mom isn't at work. It still terrifies me, but I know I need to do it because hiding my true self is becoming too much work and causing a lot of stress in my life and on my mental health. My brother is gay and has come out and there's still tension between him and my parents, but they have other issues as well. I don't think there is any one right way to come out and it really depends on your family and situation, but maybe a letter or at least writing what you want to say before you actually say it will help. Good luck, and realize that you don't have to come out for anyone except yourself!! Keep your head up and do it when the time is right for you!
