Don't want to come out until I'm in a relationship..

I'm in a similiar situation. I've looked this stuff up online many times and the conclusion in most cases is that you can come out before having your first kiss. Straight people know that they are attracted to the opposite sex before they kiss them, so why shouldn't you?

As I wrote that I realized that when someone told that to me it felt unsatisfying. This can be a last shred of denial to hang on to. I'm actually still in the process of digesting this piece of advice. But you should know that finding out before your first kiss is a real possibillity, even though your mind might try to tell you otherwise.

 

Well, from my experience, I wasn't able to have a gay relationship until I was able to accept that I was gay. It might be different for you because I'm not sure if you're bisexual or not, but I feel like you might be gay because you make it sound like you don't have sexual attraction for men.

My suggestion is to put yourself in situations where you can meet someone and a relationship could cultivate (join a club, go to gatherings. Heck, go to a bar or do online dating if you have to). You don't have to label yourself if you don't know yet - trust your gut-feeling and see which gender you're more receptive to.

 

I kind of understand where you're coming from. I'm 21 also, and only recently came to the big realisation. It feels like a relief in a way, like I've finally figured out this big part of who I am. But very occasionally, I wonder if I am actually a lesbian. I think that's still just going through the process of realising this - because I feel very happy and pretty sure of this. I also feel like once I start dating a girl it'll sort of fall into place and FEEL more real rather than just all of this stuff in my head.

My advice to you is to just experiment, try to meet more people to see who you might be attracted to. Don't feel as though you have to stick a label on yourself if you're not sure what that label says quite yet. There's no time limit, and there are no rules about this. Do what feels right for you, date who feels right to you. Trust your gut and see what works!

Hoping you find some clarity soon. Good luck

 

I have a similar situation... I like both women and men romantically/emotionally and only men sexually. I still consider myself bi. You can be bi but only have sexual attractions to one gender. You still have some sort of attraction to the opposite gender. But it's what ever you feel comfortable calling yourself.

 

I finally labeled myself as bisexual when I was in my 20s, but I was married and I was happy (and later, content) so it didn't matter. We split last year and I recently updated my online dating profile to seeking women only. I can tell you, it's an anxious thought - even though I was certain that I'm bisexual, I get the - how can I really know? - thought. When we kissed very tentatively last night, well, there was no uncertainty after that. Trust yourself. Take it from an old lady who is just now getting to that point.

Best of luck - I hope you find someone wonderful.